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 %CONTRASTING LIFE STYLES CHARACTERISTICS ATTITUDES+030327
%LOVERS PEACEMAKERS CONTENTIOUS DOMINEERING CONTROL+030327
%WORTHY RESPECT HONOR SUPPORT REVERENCE GOOD MOTIVE+030327
%FAITH WORKS RELATIONSHIPS INDIVIDUALISTS ISOLATION+030327
%ALIENATION ESTRANGEMENT DESCRIPTIONS PROSCRIPTIONS+030327
 %LISTEN LABEL HEAL FAULT BLAME SHAME GUILT SINNERS 030327

     Domineering   people  are  like  wolves  in   sheep's
clothing;   often  trying to present themselves  as  being
worthy of respect, honor and support because of their good
motivations,  intentions and outstanding-works.  When they
engage  in  such pretensions it is helpful to keep in mind
the   following   contrasting  patterns  in  the  foci  of
people's   attention,   noted  below  in  two  contrasting
columns.

Foci of True Lovers:      Foci of DOMINEERING people:
====================      ===========================

Personal-relationships    Isolated individuals as such

Descriptive-natural-laws  Prescriptions & proscriptions

Listening-to-people       Putting labels on people

Healing-relationships     Fault, blame, shame and guilt

Cooperative-relations     Controls, laws, police, prisons

Liberating-descriptions   Commandments, demands, taboos

Personal-reconciliation   Labeling of enemies & traitors

Gracious-peacemaking      Preparations-for-and-war

Working-with-people       Working-on-people

Creativity/adaptability   Conformity and traditions

Authenticity              Formal rituals & ceremonies

Conflict-resolution       Winning or losing battles

Doing-with-others         Doing-to-others

Working-with-spectrums    Mandating dichotomous choices

Sharing-with-others       Doing-for, getting-from others

Alienative-relationships  Evil-individuals

Integration               Exclusivity

Integrity                 Conformity

Diversity                 Purity

Integration               Segregation

Shared-vulnerability      Defensive-invulnerability

Sanctuary-communities     Fortification and defenses

Invitations               Impositions

Suggestions               Requirements

Offerings                 Demands

Hospitality               Invasions

Civility                  Contentiousness

Mutuality and balance     Extremism and terrorism

Gentleness/generosity     Coercion/violence

     Not all the notable contrasts are pointed to by words
on  the  same  line.   There are  many  notable  contrasts
pointed  to  by words/phrases which are diagonally  across
and up-or-down from each other.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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