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  %SELF OTHER BECOME WHO BECAUSE PERSONAL RELATIONS+021217
  %INDEPENDENT INTERDEPENDENT CANNOT CONTROL BEINGS+021217
  %CONTRIBUTE GUIDANCE DEMONSTRATE COOPERATION GODS+021217
 %TRUE LOVERS GODS AGENTS ASSIGNED RELIABLE PROGRAM+021217
  %RESPOND ALIENATION ESTRANGEMENT DEVILS POWER SIN+021217
   %SPIRIT APPROACH KNOWLEDGE GOOD EVIL GARDEN EDEN 021217
                                                          
     We become and are who we are because of              
      our personal relationships with others who are      
       independent of us; and interdependent with us.     
                                                          
     Because we cannot control our personal relationships 
      we cannot control who we are or who we will become; 
       though we can contribute to who we and others will 
        become through our conflicts and cooperation with 
         each other in Love as true lovers.               
                                                          
     We cannot control our personal relationships, because
      we are not God, nor are we God's agents assigned to 
       control other creatures' responses to our actions. 
        We cannot reliably "program" other peoples' ways  
         of responding to us as persons/agents of action; 
          to the spirit in which we approach our relations
           with them as independent/interdependent beings.
            We cannot control other people's responses to 
             us, because we are not omniscient/omnipotent 
              regarding other people who we barely know.  
                                                          
     If we presume to pass judgment upon other people --- 
      we are presumptious, arrogant and self-righteous ---
       to the extent that we are not intimate participants
        in friendly relationships with them --- because to
         that extent we are ignorant about them and not   
          qualified to pass judgment upon the others.     
                                                          
     The only way we can be qualified to pass judgment    
      upon other people is if we are deeply involved in   
       intimate relationships with them so that we know   
        them intimately --- but then we realize that we   
         cannot separate them as individuals from our     
          relationship with them --- and then it is our   
           relationship with them which is to be judged;  
            not them in isolation from us & our relation- 
             ship with them.  By passing judgment upon    
              others we pass judgment upon ourselves ---  
               because of our ignorance of how inter-woven
                we and they are in our relationship;      
                 and/or because we are playing collusive  
                  games of mutual self deception with     
                   those who agree that our judgments     
                    are good; while others who are        
                     isolated from us are evil ---        
                      because of our blinding evil        
                       relationships with them.           
                                                          
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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