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  %DIFFERENCES LOVERS DOMINEERING DOMINATION SYSTEM+021011
%MISUNDERSTANDING CONFLICT CONTENTIOUS DISTRUST SIN+021011
 %RATIONAL SENSE TRANSPARENCY AUTHENTIC MOTIVATIONS+021011
  %HONESTY COLLUSIONS ADDICTIONS ALCOHOLIC NONSENSE+021011
 %COOPERATION NARCISSISTIC EGOCENTRIC SELFISH TRUST+021011
 %MENTAL DISEASE ILLNESS ALIENATED INFORM KNOWLEDGE 021011
                                                          
     What   are   some  differences  between  lovers   and
domineering  people which make it quite difficult for them
to understand,  communicate-with,  and cooperate-with each
other?   Consider the following possibilities:            
                                                          
     1.  Domineering   people  are  usually  self-centered
and/or  narcissistic ---  in confused ways while believing
that   other    people   are   like   them    in    being:
domineering,    dishonest,    secretive,    self-centered,
manipulative,    power-hungry   and  not-trustworthy   ---
whereas  lovers  recognize  the   full   range  of   human
differences   among individuals taken  one  at  a time ---
and  are themselves essentially:  honest,  open,    civil,
gracious,    generous,  kind,  patient,  power-sharing and
trustworthy.                                              
                                                          
     2.  Domineering  people  are often victims of  mental
illness, ill-at-ease and dis-eased in ways which result in
dysfunctional  emotional/mental  processing of information
and/or experiences --- whereas lovers are usually mentally
and   physiologically  healthy  and  well  integrated   as
affective-and-mental   processors-of   information  and/or
personal experiences.                                     
                                                          
     3.  Domineering    people   are   often    estranged,
alienated,   not  involved in open  and  honest  dialogue,
uninformed  and mis-informed ---  whereas lovers are  well
integrated with a wide range of different kinds of  people
in   open   and   honest  dialogue,    well-informed   and
sympathetically-thoughtful in relationships with others.  
                                                          
     4.  Domineering  people  are  often  lacking  in  the
social   graces  of:   civility,   generosity,   patience,
hospitality,     listening,    dialogue, authenticity  and
trustfulness --- while true lovers have  usually developed
such social graces quite well.                            
                                                          
     5.  Domineering  people  often over-simplify  complex
situations through  dichotomous perceptions,  so that they
ask   and     answer     either/or    questions     about:
good/evil,      right/wrong,        acceptable/rejectable,
perfect/defective,  yes/no ---  whereas lovers  recognize,
acknowledge  and  deal  honestly  with the full  range  of
spectrums   of    differences  in   people,    situations,
relationships,  and conflicts among ideas, ideals, values,
principles and policies.                                  
                                                          
     6.  Domineering  people often behave in  non-rational
ways  which  do  not make transparent sense  ---   whereas
lovers  are  authentic  and  transparent  regarding  their
reasons  for  thinking and behaving as they do;    because
lovers   are not  participants  in  collusive   games   of
mutual   self deception.                                  
                                                          
     7.  Domineering  people are more prone than lovers to
look for technical solutions to problems and dilemmas;  as
domineering  people  often  do  not  distinguish   between
technical problems (which presume agreement  on what is to
be achieved)  and human  dilemmas (which entail unresolved
conflicts  over  what  SHOULD  be,  be  done,   and/or  be
achieved).     In  the broad sense domineering people  are
often technocrats who  are insensitive to the inhumane and
alienative  dimensions of their relationships  with  other
people.                                                   
                                                          
     8.  For  the  above  reasons domineering  people  are
prone to issue threats,  invent and manufacture weapons of
war;  prepare and train soldiers to be ready,  willing and
able  to engage in the destructive activities of war;  and
be indifferent to the alienative consequences of all  such
efforts  ---  whereas lovers are prone to seek to  promote
reconciliation,   dialogue,   mutual  understanding,   and
balanced cooperative relationships.                       
                                                          
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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