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  %BEING DOING WELL HEALTHY INTEGRATIVE MOTIVATIONS 020915
                                                          
     To  be  well  and  do well we need  to  give  careful
consideration to the motivations of domineering people  in
comparison to the motivations of true lovers.  Motivations
are  intimately related to:  fears,  desires,   anxieties,
hopes,  expectations, dis-eases, beliefs, addictions, etc.
Thus we need to consider:                                 
                                                          
                                                          
True lovers':                 Domineering people's:       
============================  ============================
                                                          
COMMITMENTS, HOPES, DESIRES   INTENTIONS, FEARS, DEMANDS  
                                                          
AUTHENTICITY, HONESTY, GRACE  ARROGANCE, DECEPTION, DECEIT
                                                          
SACRIFICES, CIVILITY, FAITH   GREED, COERCION, DISTRUST   
                                                          
HOSPITALITY, PATIENCE         ATTACKS, IMPATIENCE         
                                                          
TOLERANCE, BALANCE            EXCLUSIVITY, EXTREMISM      
                                                          
HUMILITY, GENTLENESS          SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS, HATE    
                                                          
INTEGRITY, HEALTH             ALIENATION, SICKNESS        
                                                          
COHERENCE, COOPERATION        DISINTEGRATIONS, CONFLICTS  
                                                          
                                                          
     It is not any one trait which is in and of itself  of
great/ultimate importance.  Rather it is the whole PATTERN
of inter-related traits which characterize true-lovers; in
contrast to the whole PATTERN of traits which characterize
domineering-people  ---   upon  which  we  need  to  focus
attention.   We may know/recognize people by their various
fruits  ---    if  we  do not become  trapped copy-catting
domineering   people  in  dealing  with  different  people
of all kinds.                                             
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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