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%DICHOTOMOUS DECISIONS REGARDING YES/NO SEXUAL GODS+020904
 %EITHER/OR EXCOMMUNICATIONS BANISHMENTS REJECTIONS+020904
%CONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE REWARDS PUNISHMENTS NATURAL+020904
%CONSEQUENCES ARTIFICIAL DOMINATION COERCION DEVILS+020904
%VIOLENCE DISOWNERSHIP CONTROL MANAGEMENT INFLUENCE+020904
%INTERCOURSE DIALOGUE OPEN HONEST SHARING INTEGRITY 020904
                                                          
     People  differ in regards to what are the sure  signs
that   people   have   engaged  in  an  improper   "sexual
relationship".  Often  people  focus  on  how   reasonable
the    technical  criteria   are  for what  is  a  "sexual
relationship";   and suggest  that  regardless of what the
technical  criteria are,   it  is  always  possible to say
that   an   intimate  relationship was  either  a  "sexual
relationship"  or it was not a "sexual relationship".   It
is  assumed  that  it  is  an  either/or   situation   ---
regardless of the full spectrum  of possibilities  between
no intimacy and full intimacy.                            
                                                          
     In  practice  what is the common thread in trying  to
decide whether an intimate relationships was, or was not a
"sexual relationship".    In practice the defining  factor
is whether or not THE JUDGE regards what happened to be so
objectionable  as  to JUSTIFY BREAKING  OFF  COMMUNICATION
with THE GUILTY ONE.    If THE GUILTY ONE(S) are so guilty
that  it  is right to EXCOMMUNICATE ---  it was  a  sexual
relationship.     If THE GUILTY ONE(S)  are not so  guilty
that  it is right to EXCOMMUNICATE ---  then it was NOT  a
sexual relationship.    This criteria holds regardless  of
what are the details of the ostensible TECHNICAL  CRITERIA
about what is, and what is not a sexual relationship. This
is IN PRACTICE what happens.                              
                                                          
     How  wise  is it to make dichotomous decisions  about
whether  or  not people deserve to be excluded from  human
communications?     Such  decisions  occasion  alienation,
estrangement,  misunderstandings,  ignorance,  resentment,
anger,  rage,  and many more negative consequences.    Are
such  decisions "good"  decisions,  or ones which occasion
evil relationships?    Who is to decide with both personal
and communal integrity?   How can we know for sure?       
                                                          
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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