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   %CONSERVATIVE LIBERAL HEALTHY INTIMATE RELATIONS+020227
   %HELP FACILITATE PROMOTE ISSUES CONTROL POSITIVE+020227
   %PERFECTION PURITY CONFORMAL RIGHTEOUSNESS DEVIL+020227
     %FAILURE MODELS EXAMPLES DEMONSTRATIONS LOVERS+020227
     %FOCUS ATTENTION PRIORITIES SELF OTHERS LABELS+020227
    %BEST ARROGANCE SALVATION HEAVEN REWARDS PUNISH 020227
                                                          
     Why do conservatives and liberals both fail to       
       help young people develop healthy intimate         
         relationships?                                   
                                                          
     Both conservatives and liberals are preoccupied with 
       issues of control --- trying to control each other;
         rather than focusing upon positive affirmations  
           which would liberate young people from being   
             preoccupied with issues of control.          
                                                          
     The conservatives and liberals who fail to help      
       young people to develop healthy intimate           
         relationships are: domineering, coercive,        
           and demanding in their relationships with      
             each other --- failing to model healthy      
               relationships which lead through stages    
                 into intimacy which is: honest, balanced,
                   mutual, integrative, creative, kind,   
                     gracious, civil, forgiving, etc.     
                                                          
     By focusing upon each other in domineering ways,     
       both conservatives and liberals shift the attention
         of young people away from people who are role    
           models of healthy intimate relationships ---   
             to  role models  of  unhealthy coercive      
               relationships which lead by stages         
                 into   disintegrative relations          
                   characterized by: dishonesty,          
                     domination, addictions,              
                       denials, codependency,             
                         misunderstandings,               
                           collusions, lies,              
                             prejudice, bias,             
                               ignorance,                 
                                 alienation,              
                                   animosity,             
                                     revenge,             
                                       anger,             
                                         egos,            
                                           I-its.         
                                                          
     The focus shifts to what can be controlled, away from
       from what cannot be controlled; e.g., away from    
         lovers who understand, transcend and subvert:    
           all that domineering people stand for and      
             the ways in which they oppose each other     
               via: denials, negations, refusals,         
                  rejections, contradictions,             
                    ridicule, derision, mockery,          
                      etc.  ---  to just whatever         
                        can be controlled; e.g.,          
                          vulnerable people,              
                            alienated people,             
                              sick people,                
                                hungry people,            
                                  thirsty people,         
                                    weak ones; i.e.,      
                                      guilty ones,        
                                       shameful ones,     
                                         blamable         
                                           ones --- all   
                                             alone.       
                                                          
     Which kinds of people merit our true respect, honor, 
       support, and acceptance into open and honest       
         dialogue --- which leads to truly intimate       
           relationships and communities?  Who            
             can say with true conviction?                
               Who can can untie the                      
                 Gordian knots of                         
                   our collusive                          
                     games  of                            
                       selfish                            
                        lies?                             
                                                          
     See the next essay for further considerations.       
                                                          
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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