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 %MAJOR KEY PRIORITY DECISION CONTENTIOUS COOPERATE+020106
  %INTERACTION TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS NOT OK BEINGS+020106
 %INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS CHOOSE SIDES POSITIONS SIN+020106
 %SUPPORT RESPECT HONOR TOLERANCE COMPLEMENTARY GOD+020106
 %COST SACRIFICE PERSONAL COMMUNAL INTEGRITIES EVIL+020106
  %DESTRUCTIVE CIVILITY CIVILIZATION POLICE PRIVACY 020106
                                                          
     One of the major decisions,                          
       if not the major decision,                         
         which each community makes ---                   
           is that of whether to interact                 
             in contentious or in cooperative ways.       
                                                          
     There may be few, or many kinds of interactions;     
       however, there will be interactions --- of some    
         kinds. What kind of interactions will those be;  
           contentious or cooperative? That may be the    
             major decision made. That may not be         
               how it is perceived.                       
                                                          
     Some people may perceive their major decision as     
       being: which side of which conflict, will they     
         support --- at great cost to themselves/others.  
                                                          
     A more helpful way of perceiving what is happening   
       it to perceive whether people on all sides are     
         deciding to be contentious or cooperative.       
                                                          
     Contentious  people  are  usually  destructive,   and
disintegrate.     They  are not  civil.    They  undermine
civility and civilizations.  They do not endure.          
                                                          
     Cooperative  people  are  usually  integrative,   and
grow/thrive.      They  are  civil.    They  promote   and
facilitate  both  civility and civilizations.    They  are
robust, and do endure.                                    
                                                          
     Contentious people see their contentious rituals as  
signs of their continuing dedication to their holy causes;
and  thereby maintain their self-esteem in their own,  and
in  each  other's  eyes.    They dare  not  abandon  their
collusive  games of mutual self deception;  for they  have
only  others like themselves whom they trust.    Different
people cannot be trusted.   If they perceive that peace is
about to  break out and subvert/undermine their causes ---
they  rush to initiate costly rituals of conflict ---  as 
dedicated terrorists who cause more conflict which is good
for their causes.  They count the cost to their opponents;
but do not count the cost to themselves in  disintegration
and lost opportunities for constructive cooperation.      
                                                          
     Cooperative people see contentious rituals           
       as futile causes of: destruction, disintegration,  
         confusion, ignorance, misunderstanding, failure, 
           alienation, estrangement, excommunications,    
             anger, rage, revenge, dysfunctional-         
               relationships, evil relationships,         
                 sinful relationships --- not worthy of   
                   respect, honor or support.             
                                                          
     How can we promote and facilitate more cooperation;  
       and reduce our tendencies to be contentious?       
                                                          
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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