This is http://www.essayz.com/b0007121.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ADOLESCENT YOUNG PEOPLE CHOICE LIFE MATE SEXUAL+000712 %AMBIGUITY DOUBT UNCERTAINTY PARADOX EXTRAMARITAL+000712 %LOVE INTIMATE FRIENDSHIPS DOMINATION SYSTEM GOOD+000712 %CONTROL DESCRIPTION LABEL GOOD DEVIL FAILURE SIN 000712 To make wise and prudent choices about whom to team up with for a life-long relationship those intending to be involved need to consider many aspects of a healthy life-long relationship; e.g.: 1. Honesty, openness, responsiveness and listening. 2. Trustworthiness, reliability, stability and diligence. 3. Personal integrity and support of communal integrity. 4. Health, handicaps, diseases, fears and anxieties. 5. Potentials for healthy sexual relationships. 6. Potentials for responsible parenting and support. 7. Ability to live independently and inter- dependently. 8. Intelligence, knowledge, skills, and a demonstra- ted ability to learn from mistakes, blunders and errors. 9. Signs of good humor and common sense under stress. 10. A demonstrated ability to see both the whole picture and the essential details. Collusive communities are prone to inhibit careful consideration of one or more of the above important kinds of factors --- because careful consideration of them might expose the lack of integrity in the heart/spirit of collusive communities. To be people of integrity in integrative communities --- we need to become aware of and beware of how domineering people induct new members into their collusions; then keep them trapped there as faithful supporters of "The Domination System" of their collusive community. Domineering people often regard human relationships in ways which complicate the task of developing a variety of mature personal relationships which are mutually complementary. Domineering people often insist that personal relationships must be in competition with each other over which relationship is dominant, and which other relationships are subservient to the one dominant relationship. To domineering people the label which is placed upon a relationship is thus very important. Each relationship must have a correct label which corresponds to an official description of the nature of the relationship. Relationships which have not been officially described and officially labeled cannot be valid and must not be tolerated --- because such relationships entail uncertainty, ambiguity, doubts and are not properly controlled by dominant leaders. It is difficult enough to develop mature complementary relationships --- without having to worry about how to describe each developing relationship to domineering people who feel/believe that they must describe them and label each relationship in some official way. Domineering people do not help others to form mature close relationships --- by insisting that each relationship must be described and labeled in some standard way which takes for granted that relationships are in competition with each other and mutually exclusive --- rather than cooperative and mutually complementary. It is important for participants within healthy intimate relationships to share their mutual awareness of the importances to them of their diverse relationships --- both publicly and privately in ways which are mutually agreeable. When complementary relationships are inhibited by domineering people, rather than acknowledged and respected by cooperative people, both personal and communal integrity suffer in tragic ways. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================