This is http://www.essayz.com/b0007101.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %COMPENSATE DYSFUNCTIONAL DISHONEST+000710 %RELATIONSHIP EXPECTATIONS DEMANDS SINS 000710 We cannot effectively compensate for one dysfunctional dishonest relationship just by getting involved in a new relationship --- in terms of the same attitudes, expectations, and assumptions as those present in the existing dysfunctional dishonest relationship. What makes a relationship dysfunctional is most often the attitudes, expectations and assumptions of the participants --- rather than some other less relevant characteristics of the participants. Often people who are involved in dysfunctional personal and communal relationships have focused upon superficial personal characteristics in their relationships. Such superficial characteristics have often formed the basis for both positive and negative prejudicial behaviors; e.g., age and birthplace. To promote and facilitate both personal and communal integrity we need to learn how to recognize the truly important essential foundations for the development of personal relationships --- those which are truly significant, meaningful and enduring. We need to recognize what combinations of characteristics can serve as foundations of integrative relationships; and which combinations are likely to serve in tragic ways as the foundations for disintegrative relationships. As our relationships develop we need to be alert to discern the roots of our misunderstanding, disagreements, confusions, and conflicts --- and to be careful not to attribute such difficulties to superficial characteristics of other people whom we choose to blame for our difficulties and troubles. We need to discern characteristics which are profoundly important as essential foundations for healthy personal relationships; and focus appropriately upon them. The following are suggestive, but they are neither definitive nor exclusive indications of all such essential foundations. Integrative and healthy people are: 1. Trustworthy in ways which facilitate and promote creative cooperation between different people. 2. Able to learn quickly from the natural consequences of flawed attitudes, expectations, assumptions, approaches, beliefs, choices and priorities which have been adopted in the past --- by self and by others. 3. Able to take care of self and truly dependent others --- in ways which demonstrate essential kinds of competence which are appropriate to current personal circumstances, needs and desires. 4. Able to be involved in honestly interdependent relationships which are mutually advantageous to the participants who are involved. 5. Committed in balanced ways to a full spectrum of complementary ideals, values and principles --- all of which are essential to both personal and communal integrity. 6. Able to recognized, understand and gently subvert disintegrative patterns of behavior on the part of domineering people who support "The Domination System". 7. In the habit of dealing openly, honestly and realistically with all notable limitations related to finite amounts of available: time, money, resources, knowledge, understanding and creativity --- including prime energy sources, water, land minerals, and leadership skills. 8. Aware of and respectful of the implications inherent in what is said about the nature of possible relationships, processes, procedures, technologies and technical solutions --- by the thoroughly confirmed laws and theories of the objective sciences; e.g., by conservation laws of energy, momentum and change. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================