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  %RESPECT HONOR SUPPORT TOLERATE COPING STRATEGIES+980625                                      
 %DISINTEGRATIVE FRAGMENTIVE ALIENATIVE CONTENTIOUS+980625                
 %EVIL SINFUL CONFLICT EXCOMMUNICATION ESTRANGEMENT+980625                                       
  %DESCRIBE PRESCRIBE PROSCRIBE SCRIPTURE INTERPRET+980625                      
  %BETTER SUPERIOR EXCLUSIVE DICHOTOMOUS SELF OTHER 980625                       
                                                                                                                               
     We  will  do well and be well as healthy  people  ---                                                                    
living  cooperatively within healthy communities ---  only                             
to the extent that we cooperate in:                                                                                            
                                                                                                                               
     1.  Recognizing, naming, describing and talking about                                                                     
the  extent  to which our various coping strategies  which                                                            
are:                                                                                                                           
                                                                                                                               
         A.  Essentially   more    integrative    than ---                  
essentially dis-integrative;                  
                                                                                                                               
         B.  Essentially    more    synthetic     --- than                  
essentially fragmentive;                  
                                                                                                                               
         C.  Essentially more likely to lead to                  
             reconciliation and peace --- than to lead to                                                                      
             protracted violence, coercion and war.           
                                                                                                                               
     2.  Working to transcend our coping strategies  which                                                            
are dis-integrative,  fragmentive,  violent,  coercive and           
war-like.                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                               
     3.  Articulating  in affirmative ways our own  ideas,      
ideals,  values, principles and goals --- while seeking to                                         
listen  to  and understand different people's  affirmative                                     
articulations  of   their  own ideas,   ideals,    values,                   
principles and goals.                                                                                                          
                                                                                                                               
     4.  Finding ways to resolve conflicts in WIN-WIN ways      
by  GETTING  TO YES in inventing and articulating ways  to      
cooperate in fulfilling each other's basic healthy needs.                 
                                                                                                                               
     5.  Recognizing, naming, describing and talking about                                                                     
the  ways  in which the following words  point  to  coping      
strategies  which lead to disintegration,   fragmentation,                                                                   
violence, coercion and war:           
                                                                                                                               
    ARROGANCE    SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS     EXCLUSIVITY       
                                                                                                                               
    INSOLENCE    DISDAIN                HAUTINESS                                                                              
                                                                                                                               
    LORDLINESS   SUPERCILIOUSNESS       PRESUMPTUOUSNESS                                                                       
                                                                                                                               
    LEGALISM     CONDEMNATIONS          JUDGEMENTALISM                                                                         
                                                                                                                               
    ADDICTIONS   CODEPENDENCE           CONTROLISM                                                
                                                                                                                               
    DECEPTIONS   DISHONESTY             COLLUSIONS 
                                                                                                                               
    US VS THEM   FRIEND VS ENEMY        GOOD VS EVIL                                       
                                                                                                                               
    SIN VS SINS  SUCCESS VS FAILURE     IN VS OUT                                                                              
                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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