This is http://www.essayz.com/a9806091.htm         
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words.
{Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.}
==========================================================

   %HEALTHY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS CONTROL ADDICT SIN+980609
  %CODEPEND SAFELY INVULNERABLE DEFENSIVE EVIL GOOD+980609                                       
  %DICHOTOMY SECRET PRIVATE HIDDEN PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE 980609                                                                     
                                                                                                                               
      Within   a  community  in  which  many  people   are               
preoccupied   with  issues  of  control,   addiction   and                                                
codependence --- it is difficult for people to participate                           
in healthy sexual relationships because:
                                                                                                                               
     1.  Healthy sexual relationships involve enjoying the
freedom to be safely vulnerable ---  which is difficult to                                                                     
do within  a   community   preoccupied   with  perfection,                             
invulnerability, and defenses.                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                               
     2.  Healthy sexual relationships involve  rainbows of
ways  of  being  involved in human intimacy  which  entail      
continuous variations in subtle differences  ---  which is                                     
difficult  to  enjoy  in  the presence of people  who  are                                                                    
preoccupied with reducing complex situations to  questions                                                                     
which  can be answered YES or NO with  absolute  certainty                                                                     
---    and  so  preoccupied  with  drawing  sharp/absolute                                                                     
boundaries between good and evil.                                       
                                                                                                                               
     3.   Healthy sexual  relationships  are  not entirely
secret,  private and/or  hidden  ---   but  entail  public                                                                     
acknowledgements  of how meaningful the relationships  are                                               
to  those  involved  in them.  It is   difficult  to enjoy                                                                     
healthy   sexual   relationships  in   the   presence   of
contentious  people  who  are ready to  pass judgment  and                
issue condemnations at the slightest provocation.                                                                              
                                                                                                                               
     4.  Healthy   sexual  relationships  are  not   about
getting ahead,   gaining  advantages and/or being dominant                                                     
--- issues which are  hard to avoid  within contexts where                
competition,    control,   discipline  and  criticism  are                                                           
pervasive.                                                                                                                     
                                                                                                                               
     5.  Healthy  sexual  relationships do not  flow  from
fearful efforts to avoid  friendships,   intimacy,  risks,                     
experiences, knowledge, and/or failures.                                   
                                                                                                                               
     These are some things to keep in mind when  concerned                               
about  people who seem to be involved in unhealthy  sexual
relationships --- and asking what can be done to help more                                                              
people  become  involved in healthy sexual  relationships.
Avoidance  techniques  rarely  lead  people  into  healthy  
sexual  relationships.    Beware  of  people  who  promote
avoidance techniques in regards to intimacy.                     
                                                                                                                               
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
==========================================================