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   %LIMITATION LEGAL LAW COMMAND HUMAN RELATIONSHIP 980314                                            
                                                                                                                               
     Why is it that often people who are preoccupied  with                                                                    
issues  of control,  laws,  commandments,  judgements  and                                                           
conformity ---  fail  to  fulfill their  visions of a well            
ordered community?                                                                
                                                                                                                               
     1.  Human RELATIONSHIPS are central --- and all human                                            
RELATIONSHIPS entail  desires,  emotions,  fears,   hopes,          
aspirations,  and thoughts ---  which cannot  be helpfully                                                                     
controlled, commanded, legislated or demanded.                                                           
                                                                                                                               
     2.  Attempts to control, command, legislate or demand                                                           
conformity in regards to INDIVIDUALS'  desires,  emotions,          
fears,  hopes,   aspirations and thoughts ---   inevitably                                                                     
engender INDIVIDUAL defensive attempts to escape  from the                                                                     
coercion,   violence  and  indignity  of  such  alienative           
attempts.     The  INDIVIDUAL  defensive  responses  often                                  
entail  secrecy,   deception,   misleading  behaviors  and 
perhaps  outright  dishonesty  ---   and  so the cycle  of       
alienation feeds on itself.   Integrative open-and-honest-                                        
dialogue (which is essential to any healthy community)  is               
discouraged.                                                            
                                                                                                                               
     3.  Formal   prescribed  relationships   often   fail                                                              
because they entail people being violently cast into roles  
which they (as unique individuals) are ill-suited to play;                                                                     
so they play collusive games of mutual  self  deception in 
defensive  efforts  to  protect  themselves  against   the    
violence of being cast into such roles ---  with little or  
no respect for  them  as unique individuals.   They cannot                                      
play the assigned roles with integrity,  because they were                          
not cast in the roles with integrity.                                                                   
                                                                                                                               
     4.  Relationships which fail to affirm the importance                                                              
of balance, honesty, authenticity, gentleness and creative                         
growth ---  are bound  to  disintegrate, and  lead to both                                                                   
personal and communal disintegration.                                                                
                                                                                                                               
     Often  visions  of  a  well  ordered  community   are                                                                
motivated  more by visions of being in control;  than they                                                           
are motivated by visions of healthy: people, relationships                                                              
and communities of integrity.   People who dwell upon such                                                                
visions are often insecure and unable to tolerate all that                                                                     
is entailed in enjoying true security as the freedom to be                        
safely vulnerable.                                                                                                             
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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