This is http://www.essayz.com/a9712171.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %MOST FEAR KEY OWN SALVATION GIFT GUILT SAME REJECT+971217 %LETTING GO COLLUSIVE GAMES MUTUAL SELF DECEPTION+971217 %ALCOHOLIC ADDICT CODEPENDENT RELIGION SELF OTHER+971217 %CHRIST GOSPEL RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION CONTENTION SIN+971217 %HERESY IDOLATRY COMMAND PROSCRIPTION OBEY CONTROL+971217 %SEX INTIMATE OPEN HONEST RELATIONS ACCEPT REJECT 971217 That which we most fear may be the key to our own salvation! 0. How can we discern the difference between: 1. When that which we most fear is the key to our own salvation, and 2. When we are prudently fearing that which wise, prudent and healthy people fear? It is difficult and important to learn how to make that distinction. How is it possible that we might most fear that which is the key to our own salvation? 1. We may be playing collusive games of mutual self- deception with many other people who are behaving in the manner of alcoholics and addicts --- engaged in denial regarding how dysfunctional their attitudes, beliefs, assumptions, fixes, solutions, and self-righteous behaviors are. 2. We may be refusing to accept and deal with the realities pointed to by honest people's charitable descriptions of our dysfunctional attitudes, beliefs, assumptions, fixes, solutions, and self-righteous behaviors. 3. We may feel threatened by people who are embarrassingly willing to be open and honest with us --- even when we are unwilling to be open and honest with them. 4. Others may have taught us throughout our life that it is essential to always be on the defensive, never really trusting other people; never being willing to be vulnerable within open and honest intimate relationships. 5. In the absence of anybody accepting us into dialogue as we really are --- we may be compulsively trying to make ourselves acceptable by appearing to be other than we really are. 6. We may be otherwise operating in terms of a paradigm which is our false god --- and the focus of our ultimate concern and worship in idolatrous living. 7. We may be doing any or all of the above within the context of the religious activities within a religious cult, organization, church or denomination which is respected by most of those nearest and dearest to us. In contexts such as those suggested above --- we are bound to most fear the breakdown of the successful maintenance of the fabric of our apparently successful efforts --- for we know no other way to achieve success for ourselves or for others. All we know how to do is to try harder to maintain the appearances of success which we already have. To despair and give up would be heresy --- and to lose all of our best and most trusted friends and relatives! That is literally un-thinkable and forbidden by the hidden rules of our collusive games of mutual self- deception. That is why what we most fear may be the key to our own salvation --- letting go of our collusive games of mutual self-deception. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================