This is http://www.essayz.com/a9710071.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %RELIGIOUS ADDICTION CONFLICT SEXUALITY CONTROL 971007 During the latter part of the 20th Century many churches have been engaged in addictive conflict over issues related to human sexuality. In those conflicts memberships of various churches have drawn battle lines and maintained long standing conflicts over who was more righteous --- because of which side of the battle lines they were taking meritorious stands. In what sense have such conflicts been addictive conflicts? Addicts are preoccupied with issues of control and dishonestly seek to "fix" people, situations and relationships by the use of "solutions", "techniques" or "technologies". Dishonesty is essential in such efforts, because what people are trying to do is essentially impossible --- and so can be made to appear to be possible and/or to occur --- only through the use of dishonesty and "appearances" taking the place of "reality". Addictive combatants in addictive conflicts believe that they need to fix each other's dysfunctional patterns of assumptions, attitudes, desires, thoughts, and behaviors. They all refuse to be controlled, but will not give up trying to control each other, in spite of each other's refusing to be controlled. On principle, they will not let others do to them, what they believe that they must do to others. Addictive combatants are fixated upon conflict as a means to salvation. They believe that they must be in conflict to be saved --- and each side in each conflict helps the opposing side to continue to have something to fight over. Alcoholics and other drug addicts try to fix themselves and each other by the abusive use of alcohol and other drugs --- which compound their dysfunctional patterns of assumptions, attitudes, desires, thoughts, and behaviors. Workaholics try to fix themselves and their communities through unbalanced fixations upon work --, which throws out of balance the rest of their lives. Sexaholics try to fix themselves and each other through unbalanced fixations upon sexual relationships, activities, and the control thereof. Self-righteous religious people, in addictive ways, try to fix themselves and each other through their abusive use of alienative conflicts --- which compound their dysfunctional patterns of assumptions, attitudes, desires, thoughts and behaviors. Such efforts are dysfunctionally cooperative in their use of endless conflicts --- which are perpetuated because conflicts are viewed as essential means to achieving the intended fixes. Such efforts entail meta-addictions in which participants are addicted to conflict within relationships which are defined by conflict. In such efforts alienation is an essential tool, rather than something which is to be transcended, avoided and mitigated. Thus communities as communities get stuck in vicious cycles of conflict which they do not want to get out of --- because within conflict they find their fulfillment. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================