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 %MESSAGE KINDS GOD CONTROL YOU PERSONAL EXPERIENCE 970108

     It  is  often  helpful  to  recognize  the  kinds  of
messages which dominate  various people's  communications.
It is often  helpful to recognize which kinds  of messages
are generally absent in various  people's  communications.
What  is  absent  can  be just as  revealing  as  what  is
present.

     We  need to beware of people whose communications are
dominated by:

     1.  Messages from God, The Authority/Controller.
     2.  Messages about being in control.
     3.  Messages about who is good and who is evil.
     4.  Messages about standards of judgement.
     5.  Messages of condemnation and rejection.
     6.  Messages of self-righteousness.
     7.  Messages of exclusivity.

     We  need  to beware of  people  whose  communications
lack:

     1.  Active listening.
     2.  Personal presence.
     3.  Personal vulnerability.
     4.  Emotional authenticity.
     5.  Messages about personal experiences.
     6.  Self revelations.
     7.  Signs of personal vulnerability.

     Persistent  patterns  of  such  dominance  and  lacks
within  communication should serve as warning  signs  that
there  is a lack of integrity which we need  to  recognize
and  deal with openly and honestly;  even if others do not
recognize the patterns and/or do not deal with them openly
and honestly.   We need to be open and honest  with  those
whom  we can trust---and be prudent about being  open  and
honest  with people whose communications  demonstrate  the
patterns noted above.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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