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 %CROSSED TIGHT ROPE WALKERS EXPONENTIAL GROW DECAY 970102

     Picture  two tight rope walkers walking across  tight
ropes  which cross each other at the middle of each  rope.
Picture  them  wanting to be interdependently together  at
the  intersection of their two ropes.   The ropes are tied
together making a small angle between them where they  are
tied.   What either person does will significantly  affect
the  context  of  the other person's efforts  to  maintain
balance; even before they are together where the two ropes
are bound together.

     For  the  two people to successfully get together  at
the middle they will have to cooperate  exceedingly  well;
each responding instinctively to  the  other's  actions in
complementary ways.  Success will be unlikely if they:

     1.  Are  unable to be open and honest with each other
during  practice about how they feel about what  they  are
trying to do and how successful they are.

     2.  Cannot  see  or  hear each other  in  uninhibited
ways.

     3.  Are  distracted by people near and dear  to  them
who are opposed to their efforts to get together.

     4.  Have to compensate for people shaking the ropes.

     5.  Have  internalized  conflicting  images  of  what
needs to be done to be successful.

     6.  Have secret ulterior motives.

     7.  Cannot admit to, and learn from, mistakes made.

     8.  Are hypercritical of each other's mistakes.

     9.  Live according to conflicting ideals and values.

     People who are seeking to develop a healthy  intimate
relationships   are   often  walking  tight  ropes   which
intersect  each other at small angles---and are trying  to
do   so  in  an  environment  which  is  less  than  fully
supportive.  "Romeo and Juliet" stories abound in dramatic
presentations  and  in  everyday  life.    All  too  often
bystanders  are  disintegrative influences,   rather  than
integrative    influences.      Often   those   who    are
disintegrative  influences  are proud  of  themselves  for
being  "better"  than those whom they distract.   They are
blind to how disintegrative their self-righteousness is.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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