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    %CLARIFY CONFUSED ASSUMPTIONS MUTUAL UNDERSTAND+970102
      %OPEN HONESTY COERCIVE EXPECTATIONS DECEPTIVE 970102

     Often  people  make  coercive  assumptions  and  have
coercive expectations.   Whose responsibility is it to set
the record straight?

     Are  the  people  who make coercive  assumptions  ---
responsible  for the disintegrative consequences of  their
assumptions?

     Are the people who recognize that the assumptions are
both misleading and coercive --- responsible for resisting
the   coercion   in   order   to   avert    disintegrative
consequences?

     Are  the  people  who engender and  respect  coercive
expectations  ---   responsible for the  alienation  which
flows from them?

     Often  coercive people seek to lay the blame,   guilt
and shame which flows from their  coercive assumptions and
expectations---at  the  feet of the people whom they  have
have  coerced.    Whose responsibility is it to make clear
how  coercive  and disintegrative such blame,   guilt  and
shame  is?     How can anybody helpfully  make  clear  the
disintegrative   consequences  of  coercive   assumptions,
blaming, guilting and shaming?

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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