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 %GUIDELINES THINK FANTASY SEXUAL BEHAVIOR FEELINGS+961128
 %RESPONSES STIMULATION REPRESSION SUPPRESSION FAIL+961128
 %CONTROLS PROHIBITIONS PRESCRIPTIONS PROSCRIPTIONS+961128
   %THEORY DISINTEGRATIVE GOOD EVIL HELPFUL HARMFUL 961128

     Human  sexuality  seems  to be an eternal  focus  for
human  interests  and concerns.   There are  many  evident
efforts   on  the  part  of  the  promoters  of   business
(advertisers)  to stimulate sexual considerations---so  as
to  stimulate  business.   There  are  many  publications,
images  and  non-verbal  communications of  various  sorts
designed   to  assist  people's  inclinations  to   engage
fantasies which  indirectly  or  directly stimulate sexual
feelings,  visions, and  inclinations  to engage in sexual
behaviors.     Then  there are many  covert  and/or overt;
non-verbal  and/or  verbal communications  which  tend  to
inhibit,   repress  and/or suppress any and/or all of  the
above.

     Basic considerations  of the evolutionary  process of
homo  sapiens  suggest  that  sexual  relationships   have
played   an  important  role  in  human  development   and
survival.   Most of that process pre-dates existing verbal
records of  any form; it is pre-historical in nature.   It
seems  reasonable  to  think  that  disintegrative  sexual
considerations  were  likely  to  be  destructive  to  the
descendants  (if any)  of the humans who  engaged  in  the
disintegrative  considerations---and  so  was  of   little
survival-value  in  the evolutionary process.    Thus   it
would  seem  that  most human sexual  dispositions   would
probably  be integrative in nature;   i.e.,    helping  to
bring humans together in ways  which promote the integrity
of    the communities  which  are  essential   for   their
survival.

     In   the  modern  era,   and  apparently  in  earlier
historical eras, there seems to be much disagreement about
whether or not  the  common human  sexual dispositions and
inclinations  are  inherently  integrative  or  inherently
disintegrative; e.g., worthy of trust/respect or worthy of
dis-trust/suspicion.    Some people seem to be inclined to
feel  and  think that the less rules and  regulations  the
better,  because sex is inherently good and does not  need
to  be controlled.   Others people  seem to be inclined to
think and feel  that  the  more rules and  regulations the
better,   because  sex is inherently evil and needs to  be
controlled.      Few  people  seem to be  able  to   agree
upon  integrative   balance which avoids  extremisms   and
takes advantage of honest existential insights.

     There seems to be an ongoing  battle  between the two
dispositions;   but  little overt  and  explicit  dialogue
among/between the people who disagree.   There seems to be
little  explicit   theoretical   work  creating hypotheses
regarding how to promote personal and communal  integrity;
and correspondingly little experimental  work pointing out
the  strengths and weaknesses of such hypotheses in  terms
of personal reports  of  personal  experiences  which  are
relevant to the hypotheses which have been offered.

     There  seems  to  be little  said/written  about  how
individuals,     couples and groups have best   approached
their   own    sexual   dispositions,      considerations,
feelings,   fantasies,   visions,    desires,    and  past
behaviors---to promote  personal  and communal  integrity.
This  absence seems strange  in light of how pervasive are
the  conflicts  between     sexual     and     anti-sexual
dispositions,    considerations,   feelings,    fantasies,
visions,  desires and past behaviors.    It may be helpful
to engage in open  and honest  dialogue about this absence
of  dialogue;     and   in  that dialogue  to  focus  upon
whether  or  not  the  absence of  dialogue  is  itself  a
contributor  to personal  and communal integrity;    or  a
contributor to personal  and  communal disintegration.

     For  new  patterns of open and honest dialogue to  be
integrative---the  participants will need to LET GO OF ALL
dispositions   they  may  have  to  focus  upon  selected:
prohibitions,  prescriptions,  proscriptions,  scriptures,
commandments,   laws,   rules,   regulations, manipulative
controls,            judgements,            condemnations,
excommunications,  banishments,  alienations,  exclusions,
etc.

     For  new  patterns of open and honest dialogue to  be
integrative---participants  must SHIFT THEIR FOCUS towards
discerning existentially what KINDS OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS
promote  PERSONAL  AND  COMMUNAL INTEGRITY,   and  towards
discerning existentially what KINDS OF HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS
promote  PERSONAL  AND COMMUNAL DISINTEGRATION.     It  is
important    that    the   focus    include    significant
considerations of EXISTENTIAL PERSONAL REPORTS.

     It  is also important that the focus shift away  from
affirmations of efforts  to  be  in  control and also away
from negations of efforts  to  be in control;  by shifting
towards affirmations of  ways  to encourage and facilitate
creative conflict resolution and cooperation which support
personal and communal integrity and integration.    Ideals
and values need to focus  upon both personal  and communal
integrity---and  upon  whatever  facilitates personal  and
communal integrity.   Open  and  honest dialogue about the
existential  foundations  for  growing   healthy  personal
relationships can be helpful.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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