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  %DUTY RIGHT PRIVILEGE RESPONSIBLE CONTROL OUTCOME 961111

     It  is essential for us to understand the  limits  of
our responsibilities.

     We have limited knowledge,  understanding,   insight,
endurance  and  resources upon which we can  draw.    Some
goals  which  we might imagine ourselves as  achieving  in
fantasy---are  in reality forever beyond our reach ---  if
we would but be honest with ourselves and each other.   We
do no one any good by pretending otherwise.    Yet we need
to accept  some  challenges  which  at first seem  to   us
to involve  impossible  tasks.     Sometimes  people  seem
to   achieve     what    others    have    regarded     as
essentially impossible.  What of miracles?

     Often    people   believe   that   their   range   of
responsibilities  extends to guaranteeing the outcomes  of
their efforts.   They believe that they must be in control
of  outcomes in order to fulfill  their  responsibilities.
Thus  they are preoccupied with issues of control and  the
development  of  manipulative  technologies  by  which  to
achieve   control  of  the  outcomes  of  their   efforts.
Because  what  they  imagine in  their  fantasy  as  their
responsibility is  often beyond their reach---the only way
to  manage  to appear  to  fulfill their fantasies ---  is
within  their  fantasy  land  with  the   help   of  false
appearances,     deceptions,     misleading     behaviors,
dishonesty,      collusions   and    addictive/codependent
behaviors.   They lose touch with reality  and  others who
are   nearest  and  dearest  to   them.   They    alienate
themselves  and become dysfunctional.    They  and   their
communities  disintegrate  because they  seek  to  control
what  is beyond their power,   responsibility,  right  and
privilege  to  control.    Beware of such dishonest  over-
responsible people and their disintegrative ideals, values
and ways.

     If   people   are  loved  only   because   of   their
achievements they are led to believe that they must try to
control    too   much---with   tragically   disintegrative
consequences.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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