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   %PERSONAL RELATION CARE POWER TRUST BALANCE FEEL+961109
     %THINK CONVICTION DEVIL ALIENATION DESTRUCTION+961109
  %ISSUES POWER CONTROL IMPOSSIBLE SECURITY DEFENSE 961109

     It  is  one thing to care about  how  another  person
feels   and thinks about oneself ---  because   of   self-
centered  desires  to gain an advantage,  get ahead,    or
increase on's own favorable reputation.

     It  is a different thing to care about another person
as a personal friend whose friendship is highly valued and
yearned  for  in a continuing personal  relationship---and
within that context to care about how the friend feels and
thinks about oneself.

     The  former kind of care is likely to  be  associated
with  concerns about the power to be in control,  and with
issues of control in general.

     The latter kind of care is indifferent to power to be
in  control,   and  indifferent to issues  of  control  in
general---except as they engender alienation, violence and
disintegration.

     The  former kind of care is likely to  be  associated
with   defensive   efforts  to  avoid   being   personally
vulnerable,    while  at  the same time taking   advantage
of  other peoples'   vulnerability and tricking them  into
being vulnerable.

     The  latter  kind of care is likely to be  associated
with the exchange of and enjoyment of gifts of the freedom
to  be  safely  vulnerable within  intimate  relationships
where vulnerability is mutual and balanced.

     The  former  kind of care is likely to be  associated
with  formal  relationships in which there is  a  lack  of
trust and/or an absence of balanced power.

     The  latter  kind of care is likely to be  associated
with informal relationships in which there is serene trust
and  either a balance of power of the transcendence of the
tendency for an imbalance of power to lead to  corruption,
advantage-taking and disintegration.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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