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       %SELF ESTEEM IMAGE DEPRESSION ELATION PERSON 961015

     Self  esteem within  individuals  and  communities is
reflexive;    reflecting  back  upon  self,   others   and
communities.

     To  the  extend  that our self esteem and ability  to
feel   good  about ourselves depends primarily  upon   our
particular  abilities,    achievements,    successes   and
avoidance   of  mistakes and failures---to that extent  we
will have  great difficulty in:

     1.  Learning from our mistakes, failures and
   difficulties.

     2.  Avoiding dishonesty, collusions, addictions and
   codependence.

     3.  Dealing with the above.


     To  be  whole and healthy people and  communities  of
integrity we need to have our self esteem and  ability  to
feel   good   about   ourselves---be  grounded  in   being
communally accepted,  loved and nurtured by others without
regards  to  our  particular   abilities,    achievements,
successes  and avoidance of mistakes and failures.     Any
other  basis   for  self  esteem and  feeling  good  about
ourselves   is  likely  to  lead   us    into     adopting
disintegrative    patterns  of assumptions,    approaches,
attitudes,     thinking,      and behaviors.     The  more
intelligent and logical we  are,   the more  difficult  it
is   to deal with any  lack  in  being accepted,     loved
and    nurtured  by  others  without   regard    to    our
abilities,   achievements,   successes  and  avoidance  of
mistakes and failures.

     Self  esteem  is  not understandable  in   terms   of
purely  objective  analysis---because objective   analysis
excludes  reflexive    considerations    from    analysis.
Objective  analysis  is  relevant to   understanding  self
esteem;      so   also    is    analysis   of    reflexive
considerations  ---   if the analysis  is  appropriate  to
reflexive   considerations.       An   analysis   is   not
appropriate to reflexive considerations if the    analysis
focuses     only    upon    predictions,    manipulations,
measurements,     computations,     reproducib-ility   and
consensus.

     Self esteem is  intimately  related to self  image---
which flows from  interactions  between self,  others, and
the community as a whole.

     Self  esteem  pertains to  both  individuals  and  to
communities as wholes.   Self esteem is not only a reality
within individuals.  Self esteem exists within communities
as  wholes.   In both instances self esteem is  intimately
related  to  the  self image of the individual and of  the
community as a whole.

     If  there are incongruities between the self image of
a   person   or a community on the one hand,    and    and
the  reality of the person or the community on the   other
hand ---  there is cognitive dissonance within.     If the
image  is    one of having a high level of competency  and
self confidence and the  reality entails  the   appearance
of   incompetency   and  timidity---there   is   cognitive
dissonance   within. There  may be efforts to conceal both
the lack  of congruence and the cognitive dissonance. Such
efforts expand the scope of the disintegration.

     Wise  and prudent self-regulation within persons  and
communities  depends critically upon  reliable  feed-back-
loops  which provide accurate data about what is happening
relative   to   the  self-image which may  serve   as   an
anchor and/or rudder.   If dishonesty about self and other
becomes  a    tool  for  dealing  with   incongruity   and
cognitive   dissonance,    it   becomes   impossible   for
self/community to be well   informed  in  reliable  ways--
-and   disintegration expands.

     Healthy  people and healthy communities live in terms
of dynamic self images which promote dynamic:   stability,
adaptability,   flexibility and self-correcting procedures
which enable healthy people and communities  to  transcend
the  limitations of current paradigms.   Instead of  being
brittle  in  standing against the winds of change  in  the
environment---dynamic  self  images   are  robust in tough
ways which bend even while standing firm.   Being  against
all change in self and other is being brittle and prone to
breakage.

     Self   images  of  persons  and  communities   entail
boundaries between selves; as individuals and also between
selves   and communities as wholes.    Healthy  boundaries
are not sharp,  but fuzzy.  Healthy self images of persons
and  communities  entail dynamic  respect  for  boundaries
which  help  to  make clear  the limited ranges  of   each
private  domains  which should  not  be  invaded   without
invitation  and   welcome.   Seeking   to   control   what
takes    place    within   private  boundaries   generates
disintegrative  tendencies all around.  People  who   seek
to    control   what   is   within    private   boundaries
thereby    promote   disintegrative patterns of attitudes,
perceptions,  beliefs,  assumptions,  thinking,  feelings,
and     behaviors.       Heightened   levels    of    self
righteousness  on the part  of individuals and communities
do  not  help  anybody  to  transcend  such disintegrative
patterns.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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