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%QUALITY PERSONAL COMMUNAL LIVES APPROACH ENJOY SIN+960817
%QUESTIONS ASSUMPTIONS ATTITUDES BELIEFS FREE GIFTS 960817

     The qualities  of  our personal  and  communal  lives
depend critically  upon  the qualities of our assumptions,
attitudes,    approaches   and  manners   of   formulating
questions:

     1.  If we focus upon ourselves,   each other and  our
relationships---as   things  which  can  be   manipulated,
controlled  and  conformed to  ideal forms---then  we  are
bound  to  be preoccupied with issues of control and  with
disintegrative: conflicts,  violence,  resentments,  anger
and revenge---which  will  inevitably be  associated  with
people's responses to those trying to control them.

     2.  If we focus upon giving and accepting free  gifts
of  the freedom  to be safely involved in open and  honest
dialogue---as the key(s) to the  enjoyment of personal and
communal  integrity---then  we  will  likely  enjoy  being
involved in healthy intimate relationships;  within  which
we  and  others  will  be enjoy being  re-born,  and enjoy
healthy   changes  and  growth as integrative  people  and
communities.

     Our choices  of  focus lay the  foundations  for  our
future: preoccupations, assumptions, attitudes, approaches
and  manners  of  formulating questions---and so  for  the
qualities of our personal and communal lives.   We need to
make  our  choices  of focus in the  light  of  where  the
choices of focus are likely to lead us.

     If  we  focus  upon perceived  imperfections  in  our
selves and/or in  others,   and  attempt  to  remove those
imperfections---we   are   bound  to   disintegrate   both
personally and communally  through  misguided  efforts  to
manipulate,   control,  perfect,  or  otherwise  determine
outcomes.   Any kind of focus upon perceived imperfections
in our selves and/or in others will mis-guide us into dis-
integrative paths.

     If we focus upon COOPERATIVELY WORKING TOGETHER  upon
improving our present and future personal RELATIONSHIPS---
we  are  likely to find,  create,  and use healthy ways of
promoting   and   enjoying  both  personal  and   communal
integrity.     It   is  essential  that  we   focus   upon
COOPERATIVELY  WORKING TOGETHER upon improving our present
and  future personal RELATIONSHIPS---by giving free  gifts
of  the freedom  to be safely involved in open and  honest
dialogue---as the key(s) to the  enjoyment of personal and
communal   integrity.    By  focusing  our   lives    upon
COOPERATIVELY  WORKING  TOGETHER  so  as  to  improve  our
present and future personal RELATIONSHIPS---we can lay the
foundations for CREATIVE CONFLICT RESOLUTIONS and so enjoy
personal and communal integrity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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