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    %OBJECTION OFFENSIVE BEHAVIOR HARM ILLEGAL TALK+960717
    %LEGAL STANDING GOSSIP CRITICISM PUBLIC COMMENT 960717

     Sometimes  people  are indifferent to what each  each
other does, sometimes they are much disturbed by what each
other does.  When they are disturbed they may:  criticize,
gossip,  ridicule,  attack, shun,  ostracize,  bring legal
suits,   etc.    Responses  may  be  formal  or  informal;
disintegrative or integrative,  alienative or reconciling,
informed or uninformed, etc.

     Our  personal and communal integrity depends  greatly
upon  how  mature we are in responding to each other  when
there are frictions between us.   Disturbances may be  due
to  misunderstandings  rooted in difference  in  language,
culture, assumptions, values, ideals, religions, etc. Such
disturbances are best dealt with in ways which  help us to
transcend  the  misunderstandings---rather  than  in  ways
which focus upon issues of control,  technology,   attack,
defense, invulnerability, and vulnerability.

     Disturbances   may   be  due  to   unrecognized   and
unresolved  conflicts.   Such disturbances are best  dealt
with  in ways which  help participants  to  recognize  and
resolve  the  conflicts  which  are  present  among  their
values, ideals and principles.

     Disturbances may be the playing out of irrelevant old
scripts  from childhood days---in compulsive reactions  to
each  other's playing out of such irrelevant old  scripts.
Continuation  of  playing out such irrelevant old  scripts
will  lead to continued conflict and disintegration.    We
need  to  recognize the origins of such  scripts  and  the
futility  of  continuing  to play them out---and  to  work
together  to  stop  playing  them  out  in  futile  modern
conflicts  which are but an echoes of old conflicts  which
we need to let go of.

     When we object to each other's behavior we need to be
careful  to do so in ways which will help us to  transcend
old  conflicts,  rather than in ways which will perpetuate
old conflicts and/or trigger new conflicts which will echo
down through the future ages.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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