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            %HEALTHY INTEGRATIVE RELATIONSHIP FOCUS 960710

     Within   unhealthy/disintegrative  relationships  the
focus is often EXCLUSIVELY  upon what is pointed to by the
words/phrases  on  the  left  below,  and so the focus  is
RARELY,   if  ever,   upon  what  is  pointed  to  by  the
words/phrases on the right below.

     Within healthy/integrative relationships the focus is
OFTEN  upon what is pointed to by the words/phrases on the
right below,  YET THE FOCUS IS WITHIN SOME FEW APPROPRIATE
CIRCUMSTANCES upon what is pointed to by the words/phrases
on the left below.

     We  will do well and be well if we recognize,   name,
describe  and talk about the different fruits  which  flow
from the different emphases.


UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS  HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS


Justifying Conflicts     Conflict resolution

Acquiring power          Sharing power

Making demands           Shared desires

Winning battles          Transcending battles

Winning contests         Successful cooperation

Issues of control        Learning from mistakes

Fixing imperfections     Growing together

Proper conformity        Creative initiatives

Maintaining order        Creative change & growth

Avoiding evil            Transcending misunderstanding

Fighting evil            Forgiveness & reconciliation

Isolating evil           Overcoming alienation

Being independent        Being inter-dependent

Passing judgment         Being in honest dialogue

Being "good"             Being true to self & others

Having "arrived"         Enjoying the journey together

Being "right"            Honestly seeking truths together

Self justification       Personal and communal integrity

Renouncing evil          Being together in Love

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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