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    %DISTINGUISH SUPPORT/JUDGEMENT HONEST/COLLUSIVE 960525

     How  are  we  to  distinguish  between  authentically
supportive   people  and  judgmental  people---and discern
their associated patterns of behavior?

     Judgmental  people often wear masks of respectability
with  which they  hide  their coercive  and often  tacitly
violent  patterns  of  behavior---which  are  designed  to
promote   conformity   to  some  standard  of   propriety.
Authentically supportive people  encourage  others  to  be
true to themselves and each other as unique people.

     Judgmental  people  are  preoccupied  with   standard
patterns   of  behavior  and   response.     Authentically
supportive  people  focus upon getting to know  people  as
they   strive  to  maintain  their  integrity  in   trying
circumstances.

     Judgmental  people are preoccupied  with  maintaining
appearances---because   they  do  not  value  honesty  and
openness.  Authentically supportive people seek to respect
boundaries  which  help to define the  differences between
unique people;  even as they seek to  transcend boundaries
which block communications between unique people.

     Judgmental   people  seek  to  eliminate  differences
between unique people so as to  get all people to  conform
to "good" standards for being respectable and so to appear
to be worthy of respect.  Authentically  supportive people
seek  to  facilitate true intimacy by giving free gifts of
the freedom to be  safely  vulnerable  in  open and honest
dialogue.

     Judgmental  people seek to destroy boundaries between
people  in  efforts  to homogenize the  members  of  their
communities.     Authentically  supportive  people  invite
others to  temporarily cross over  boundaries  which  have
walled  them  off from others---to freely find out what it
is like on the other side of those walls.

     Judgmental people imprison others in artificial human
constraints.    Authentically  supportive  people liberate
others from artificial human constraints.

     Judgmental   people  isolate   people   in   prisons.
Authentically supportive people visit people in prisons to
help them transcend the prisons.

     Judgmental  people do not help people who  are  sick,
ill,  diseased or ill at ease---to honestly take good care
of  themselves.    Authentically  supportive  people  help
others  who are sick,  ill,  diseased and ill at  ease  to
transcend    addictions,    collusions,    codependencies,
legalisms, and judgementalism---and so to be free and able
to  take  good  care of themselves before focusing any  of
their attention upon others who appear to need to be taken
care  of---as  judgmental people  so  often  thoughtlessly
focus  most  of  their  attention upon trying  to  control
others.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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