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     %TRANSCEND ABUSE IDEAL VALUE COMMAND PRINCIPLE 960515

     Abusive   people   often   abuse   ideals,    values,
commandments,   principles,  laws,  etc.   How are  we  to
recognize and  transcend such abuse?   Such abusive people
work   hard  to  make  their  use  of   ideals,    values,
commandments,    principles,    laws,   etc.   to   appear
respectable;  and to receive not only respect but support.
They are often  very intelligent and powerful participants
in collusive games of  mutual self  deception.   It is not
easy to transcend their abuse.

     The first step to transcending abuse is to recognize,
name,  describe and talk about it  with others whom we can
trust.

     Abuse leads to personal and communal disintegration.

     Abuse  leads to people being unwilling and/or  unable
to talk  openly  and  honestly  about  their  own personal
experiences, desires, fears, dreams,  hopes, expectations,
emotions, etc.

     Abuse  leads to people being defensive and  offensive
in their relationships with each other.

     Abuse  leads  to  increases in  coercion,   violence,
suspicion, doubt, distrust and attempts to be in control.

     When  we become aware of the kinds of realities which
abuse often leads to, we need to remember that where there
is a lot of smoke there is  usually a fire.  When a lot of
signs of abuse are present,  it  is  usually the case that
there  is  or  has  been  abuse.    The  challenge  is  to
recognize when and where there has been abuse, of whom, by
whom, under what authority, under what guise, etc.

     We  need  to  be  careful that our  response  to  our
recognition of  abuse---is not itself  abusive;   for  our
response easily can be abusive.

     To  transcend  the consequences of abuse we  need  to
transcend being abusive  of ideals,  values, commandments,
principles, laws, people, self, etc.  We ourselves need to
be  clearly committed  to promoting personal and  communal
integrity in open and honest ways.   We need to  recognize
that   people  who   are  abusive  of   ideals,    values,
commandments, principles, laws, etc. are often not clearly
committed to promoting personal and  communal integrity in
open  and  honest  ways.    We need to recognize  what  is
lacking  in  their way of life,  and to work to make  sure
that  what  is lacking  in  their way of life is not  also
lacking in our way of life.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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