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   %ADDICTIVE CONTROL DESIRE LAW RULE REGULATE LOVE+951127
  %PRESCRIBE PROSCRIBE FORBID REQUIRE DEMAND ALWAYS 951127

     Often undisciplined attempts to satisfy human desires
are not worthy of respect or support.   Often attempts  to
satisfy  human  desires  lead  to  personal  and  communal
disintegration.    Thus,   it is prudent to  guide  active
expressions  of  human  desires by  promoting respect  and
support  for integrative ideals,  values  and  principles.
However,   it  is often unwise to try to suppress  talking
about certain kinds of desires---even when active  talking
about   them  are  highly  likely  to  be  disintegrative.
Talking about  desires  and  actively  expressing  desires
through actions  intended  to  fulfill  the  desires---are
quite different  behaviors,  and need to be dealt with  as
quite different behaviors.


     We  and  others who are preoccupied  with  issues  of
control  are  bound  to try to manipulate  each  other  in
coercive and violent ways in our efforts to be totally  in
control on our own terms.

     If  we  are preoccupied with issues of control we  do
not dare to be engaged fully in cooperative ventures---for
cooperation makes  us  vulnerable  in ways which undermine
our possibilities of being fully in control.

     If  we  are  preoccupied with issues  of  control  we
cannot cooperate  in conflict resolution efforts---for all
true  conflict  resolution  entails openness  and  honesty
about our needs, fears,  desires,  hopes and aspiration---
and   so   entails   vulnerability  and  letting   go   of
preoccupations with issues of control.

     If  we  are  preoccupied with issues  of  control  we
cannot be peacemakers---for  peacemaking  entails conflict
resolution   which  is  impossible  for  people  who   are
preoccupied with issues of control.

     If  we are preoccupied with issues of control we  are
dammed to hellish lives of conflict, coercion, dishonesty,
alienation,  violence,  anger, resentment,  depression and
hopelessness.

     If we are preoccupied with issues of control we  need
to  consider  carefully  the price we are paying  for  our
continued preoccupation with issues of control;  let go of
such futile preoccupations---and take some new risks which
are  unlikely  to  lead to the  great  sacrifices  of  our
preoccupation with issues of control.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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