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%DESCRIBE SUBTLE RELATION DIFFERENCE RESPOND WISELY 950619

     It  is important to describe openly and honestly  the
obvious and the subtle differences  between and among both
the RELATIONSHIPS, AND the difference  between  and  among
the ELEMENTS of  our environments and contexts.   If we do
not  recognize,   name,   describe  and  talk  about   the
differences which may be important  to us, we are not in a
good position to deal wisely with those differences.

     We  may  fail in such descriptions for a  variety  of
reasons:

     1.  Lack of adequate/appropriate vocabulary & phrases
commonly understood and used.

     2.  Lack   of  courage  and  will  in  the  face   of
collusions, addictions and codependent supporters of them.

     3.  Lack of energy, disposition and training.

     4.  Lack of intelligence and perceptual abilities.

     5.  Lack of appropriate assumptions and questions.

     We  will  do  well  to  be  aware  of  the  kinds  of
differences  and relationships upon which we may  properly
focus our attention depending upon circumstances:

     1.  Are the relationships reflexive and/or objective?

     2.  Are quantitative considerations useful in regards
to the relationships and/or are they diversionary?

     3.  Are  those  people describing  the  relationships
playing important roles in that which they are describing?

     4.  Are  the participants in the relationships  free,
coerced,  manipulative, manipulated,  violent,  resentful,
angry, etc?

     5.  How  many levels of reactions and responses  back
and forth play important roles in the relationships?   How
long   do   the   echoes  of  events  last?     How   many
reverberations are important in understanding events?

     6.  What     assumptions,     attitudes,     beliefs,
convictions, ideals, values,  principles . . . are playing
important roles among participants?

     7.  How  open  and  honest  are  the   relationships,
perceptions,   articulations,   descriptions,   dialogues,
writings, etc?

     8.  Are participants in the relationships seeking  to
resolve  conflicts,  or to augment conflicts  for ulterior
motives?

     9.  To what extent are various participants concerned
about and promoting personal and communal integrity?

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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