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 %INFORMAL EXCOMMUNICATION TACIT COVERT ROLE VICTIM 950124

     What    are   the   formal/informal;     tacit/overt;
intentional/un-intentional  roles which are played by  the
perpetuator/victims of excommunication?

     An  excommunicated  person is cut off from  open  and
honest  dialogue  with  other persons.   Open  and  honest
dialogue  has broken down and been replaced  by  attitudes
and habits of suspicion, distrust and defensiveness.

     It   is  sometimes  assumed  or  thought  that   when
excommunication  occurs  there  are  powerful  people  who
initiate  the  excommunication with advantage,   and  that
there are less powerful people  who are the victims of the
excommunication;   the victims being cast out of positions
of  favor  as a punishment for not conforming properly  to
the  expectations  of the powerful people.   The truth  is
more complicated and tragic.

     In  each excommunication the participants are usually
both  perpetuators  and victims  of  the  excommunication.
Excommunication is not a win/lose game;  it is a lose/lose
game.  The advantages that appear to accrue to some people
are  apparent only by virtue of collusive games of  mutual
self  deception.   In reality there is a net loss to  each
participant/victim  when  due  regard  is  given  to   the
personal and communal disintegration which  flows from the
excommunication.

     Excommunications  flow  from  misleading  ideals  and
values which are invisibly disintegrative in spite of  the
fact  that  they  have often  been  highly  respected  and
defended.    Participants  in  excommunication  are  often
willing to sacrifice personal and communal integrity  upon
the  idolatrous  alters  of  falsely  "good"   appearances
however they may be defined.   When honesty is  sacrificed
for   "good"   appearances,  people are tragically mislead
by  disintegrative    ideals  and  values.      They   are
asking  technological   questions  pertaining  to   mutual
coercive  manipulations---when    they    need   to     be
seeking   reconciliation   through  honest  humility   and
forgiveness in balanced reflexive relationships.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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