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  %FALLING LOVE I-THOU I-IT OBJECTIVE DETACH MUTUAL+941226
%RESPECT COOPERATE TOGETHER ENJOY MUTUAL VULNERABLE+941226
%MANIPULATE UNDERSTAND PREDICT CONTROL DESCRIBE SEX+941226
%MEET RELATE PERCEPTION APPROACH REFLEXIVE LEARNING+941226
 %HONEST OPEN DIALOGUE INTEGRITY EXCLUSIVE ACCEPTED 941226

     Falling in love is  an eternal  process,  not a final
destination.

     Falling  in  love is a cooperative process of  coming
together and  learning how  to enjoy each  other in I-Thou
intimacy   and  mutual  vulnerability;   rather  than   in
detaching   from  each  other  in   mutual I-It  objective
descriptions, manipulations,  understandings, predictions,
and control.

     Descriptions  are offered from within I-It and I-Thou
modes of meeting, relating, perception, and understanding.
Each  mode  of being has its characteristic aspects  which
are  elicited by the characteristic manners  of  approach,
meeting and interaction.

     Processes  of  detachment,   objectification and  de-
personalization---characterize the I-It mode of being.

     Processes of  cooperation,  mutually coming together,
facilitation  of  learning  and  dialogue entailing honest
intimate  descriptions,  offering of I-statements and  the
development  of  both personal and  communal  integrity---
characterize the I-Thou mode of being.

     Descriptions offered within  the I-Thou mode of being
are  essentially  reflexive and there is no felt  need  to
pretend   to   transcend   participation   biases  through
objectification.  Such descriptions are not exclusive.

     Descriptions within the compulsive I-It mode of being
are essentially objective and  there  is  no  felt need to
participate in reflexively  being together as participants
in relationships which transcend the participants.    Such
descriptions   are  often  exclusive;   i.e.,    excluding
considerations and  people  who do not fit coherently with
the assumptions,  beliefs,  attitudes  and convictions  of
insecure  defensive  people  who are striving  to  achieve
analytic understanding, accurate predictions, and reliable
control   through   manipulative  procedures   which   are
perceived as the means to personal security and salvation.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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