This is http://www.essayz.com/a9412041.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DISCOURAGE REPRESS INHIBIT VULNERABLE SAFE SECURE+941204 %DISINTEGRATION DEFENSIVE POSTURE FEAR VIOLENCE SIN+941204 %HONEST DECEPTION INTIMATE RELATE SEX VIOLENCE WAR 941204 Inhibiting, depressing and discouraging healthy vulnerability in intimate relationships leads to personal and communal disintegration. When we find that we cannot be safely vulnerable in open and honest relationships which are secure---we shift from taking healthy risks in vulnerable honest relationships, to taking up unhealthy defensive postures which encourage the escalation of dishonesty, fears and defensive behaviors which become coercive and violent. If we are constantly in fear that we will be rejected, alienated, estranged and excommunicated from the community which means the most to us, and perhaps from all communities which mean anything to us---we are bound to become violently defensive. If we are not familiar with love which casts out such destructive fears---we are bound to be dominated by hate which nurtures such destructive fears. When we are fearful, full of fear, we are unlikely to want to take the healthy risks which are part in open and honest conflict resolution. Instead, we are prone to encourage each other to avoid the risks of healthy conflict resolution; and choose instead the certain disintegration which comes with constantly being fearful in defensive postures and behaviors which are dominated by depersonalizing manipulations, coercion, violence, anger, resentment, and revenge. When we adopt defensive postures and behaviors dominated by depersonalizing manipulations, coercion, violence, anger, resentment, and revenge---we treat each other as objects of fear; rather than as brothers and sisters in God's Family wherein we might find meaning, fulfillment and satisfaction through open and honest dialogue. When we treat each other as objects of fear we become dominated by objective paradigms which objectify people and intimate relationships---and we become dominated by technocrats, addicts and their codependent supporters who fear losing what little sympathy they have on the part of technocrats and addicts. When technocrats, addicts and technocrats are dominant, the educational system becomes dominated by teachers and professors who are technocrats. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================