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   %HONEST SHARE EXPERIENCE PLEASURE FULFILL DESIRE+941203
   %FIND MEANING SATISFACTION INTIMATE RELATION SEX 941203

     People  who find meaning and satisfaction in intimate
and  sexual  relationships have as their high   priorities
being  true  to  themselves and each other in  the  honest
sharing of their  personal  experiences,  perceptions  and
desires.     They   are   not   preoccupied   with   other
considerations  and fixations---which  could lead them  to
be   dishonest    about    their   personal   experiences,
perceptions and desires.

     Considerations and fixations which lead people to  be
dishonest  about their personal experiences,   perceptions
and desires---are disintegrative of personal and  communal
integrity.  Such exclusive considerations and fixations do
not merit respect,   support or even dishonest  toleration
which suggests respect   or  support.     Dishonesty about
dishonesty leads to the  growth of dishonesty, and  so  to
personal and communal disintegration.

     The  honest toleration of creative human  differences
does  not  entail  dishonesty  about  dishonesty.    Being
dishonest about  dishonesty does not promote  personal  or
communal integrity.   Due to human limits we cannot always
tell   all  truths  about  all  human  dishonesty---it  is
dishonest to pretend that we can.  Yet when we are invited
to  participate  in continuing collusive games  of  mutual
self   deception---we  do  not  have  to   become   active
participants  in such games of mutual self deception.   We
can  continue  to  see  the truth  clearly ourselves,  and
decline  to  show  respect for deception   and  misleading
behaviors.

     Collusive  people  fear  honesty and  dare  not  deal
openly  and  honestly  with  honest  people  who   clearly
perceive  the dishonesty  of  collusive  people.    Honest
people   can by their  honest  behavior  invite  collusive
people   to deal openly and honestly with the  differences
between  collusive  people and honest people.    By  their
failure to deal openly and honestly with such differences,
collusive people acknowledge that their complaints against
honest people are without merit,   and so their complaints
do not merit respect  or support.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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