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      %I-MESSAGES OPEN HONEST BEING TRUE SELF OTHER 941109

      I-messages as considered here are:

     1. Open, honest, authentic, true, etc.

     2. Revealing one's own experiences & perceptions.

     3. Non-demanding and make no attempt at control.

     4. Messages promoting personal/communal integrity.


     I-messages often start with the following words:

     I-did      I-experienced    I-failed      I-learned

     I-saw      I-heard          I-felt        I-touched

     I-tasted   I-perceived      I-repressed   I-offended

     I-hurt     I-believe        I-decided     I-apologize

     I-acted    I-ordered        I-asked       I-told

     I-refused  I-accepted       I-rejected    I-violated

     I-helped   I-forgot         I-wanted      I-want

     I-needed   I-need           I-desired     I-desire

     I-hoped    I-hope           I-said        I-deceived

     I-lied     I-regret

     I-messages  are often neglected out of fear that they
will make the speaker vulnerable---which they do do.

     In   an   attempt  to achieve security  by   avoiding
reflexive  I-messages  we  alienate  ourselves  from  each
other, and  from  ourselves---and  so  generate  coercive,
manipulative and violent  communities  in which we feel it
is not safe to offer I-messages.     We limit ourselves to
objective-messages and You-messages  in which attention is
directed away from ourselves and our truths, to misleading
messages  based upon our  ignorance of  each other and  of
ourselves.   When  we  direct  our  attention  away   from
ourselves;  to each other as  objects,   and to impersonal
objects,    we  become alienated from the  ground  of  our
being true to ourselves and each other.  We disintegrate.

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