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%DEAL WISELY HONESTLY NATURAL CONSEQUENCE CONTRIVED+940529
   %MASTURBATION PREMARITAL EXTRAMARITAL SEX RELATE+940529
%POPULATION EXPLOSION ABORTION DISEASE ILLNESS SICK+940529
%DESCRIBE PERSONAL EXPERIENCE SECURITY CONTEXT FREE 940529

    In  order to deal wisely with the natural consequences
of   masturbation,    premarital   sexual   relationships,
extramarital  sexual  relationships,   prostitution,   and
pornography we need to create secure contexts within which
people  will  be  free,   and  feel free,   to  be  safely
vulnerable in describing  their  own  personal experiences
within the context of those relationships.

Wisdom is nearly impossible in the absence of open, honest
and    accurate   personal   descriptions   of    personal
experiences.    We  need  to  be  free  to  describe   the
differences  between  consequences which are  natural  and
normal within  truly secure contexts---on the one  hand---
and consequences which are contrived within the context of
collusive  games of mutual self deception---on  the  other
hand.

    When  seeking to describe consequences accurately  and
honestly  we need to distinguish between situations  which
can be  described  adequately  within  the  context of the
objective  paradigm---on  the one hand---and  consequences
which  can be described adequately only within the context
of  paradigms  which are open and honest  about  reflexive
relationships,   perceptions  and insights---on the  other
hand.

    Discussions of  conventional and unconventional sexual
relationships are  essentially  reflexive  discussions  of
reflexive  realities.    Any  attempt  to  formulate  such
discussions under the domination of the objective paradigm
is  bound to entail  the  playing  of  collusive games  of
mutual  self deception,  and  so will  lead  to   personal
and communal disintegration.

    It has been common for discussions of conventional and
unconventional sexual  relationships  to  be  dominated by
people  who  are  up-tight about sexuality---and  who  are
trying  to  be  in control.   They are trying  to  control
realities  which  cannot be controlled by  humans:   love,
affection,  intimacy,  desires, emotions, honesty,   human
relationships,    beliefs,    perceptions,    experiences,
expressions,  God and Holy Spirit.   They are often trying
to import many aspects of the objective paradigm  into the
world   of  reflexive  relationships  and  realities---and
refuse to be open and honest about the consequences of the
importation.

    We  need to seek to describe  which consequences  flow
naturally   from old traditional:   mind-sets,  attitudes,
assumptions, beliefs, convictions,  paradigms, procedures,
taboos,     prescriptions,    prohibitions,    rejections,
excommunications,   fixes,   fixations,  addictions,   and
codependent support networks.

    We  cannot be wise  and  enjoy  personal  and communal
integrity  if  we  play  collusive  games of  mutual  self
deception and maintain confusion regarding the patterns of
consequences which flow from  our  efforts to cling to old
traditional mind-sets,  attitudes,  assumptions,  beliefs,
convictions, paradigms, procedures, taboos, prescriptions,
prohibitions,    rejections,   excommunications,    fixes,
fixations,   addictions and codependent support  networks.
It does nobody any good to pretend that those consequences
are  normal   and   natural, and that they would occur  in
un-contrived ways   within  truly  secure contexts wherein
people are free, and feel free, to be safely vulnerable in
open and honest dialogue.

    The  above  considerations  are  relevant  to  dealing
wisely with the following dilemmas:

    POPULATION EXPLOSION    AIDS            ABORTION

    POLLUTION               ADDICTIONS      CODEPENDENCE

    FAMILY DISINTEGRATION   HOMOSEXUALITY   DOMESTIC ABUSE

    SEX DISCRIMINATION      CHILD ABUSE     LEGALISM

    SEX EDUCATION           TECHNOCRACY     FUNDAMENTALISM

    If  the above considerations are ignored in discussion
of the dilemmas pointed to by the above words, we will  do
well  to look for additional evidence that collusive games
of   mutual  self deception are blocking open  and  honest
dialogue.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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