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   %REJECT IRRESPONSIBLE PERSON FAIL CONTROL RESULT+940507
 %CONSEQUENCE RESPONSE OUTCOME REFLEXIVE CAUSE LOVE 940507

    We  are  prone  to  reject  people  who  fail  to   be
responsibly in control of results,  consequences and other
people's   personal  responses  related  to   manipulative
actions.

We  assume that it is integrative to require people to  be
in  control.    Yet  we   refuse  to  recognize  the  many
instances  in which the consequences of  our  assumptions,
convictions,   beliefs,     decisions and actions lead  to
tragic personal  and communal disintegration.

    We play collusive  games of  mutual  self deception---
according  to the  rules  of which  we  should be able  to
control the results, consequences and responses related to
our assumptions, convictions, beliefs and actions.  Yet we
project  our  disappointments,   frustrations  and  angers
related to our own failures outward towards other people--
-with  whom we refuse to be in dialogue.   We do not  want
them  to have any  influence over us---much less to be  in
control  of  us.  Yet  we  want them to be responsibly  in
control of other people's responses to their decisions and
actions.   We,  however,  are not people whom they  should
control.

    We  cannot  honestly  expect  personal  and   communal
integrity   to  flow  from our  manipulative  assumptions,
convictions,   beliefs and expectations---when  they  lack
integrity.    Thus  our  expectations  are  dishonest  and
misleading---leading  us  into tragic  disintegration  and
disappointments.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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