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    %THREAT REALITY PERCEIVE REAL EXPLICIT IMPLICIT+940423
    %ADDICT COLLUSIVE CODEPEND ALIENATE PUNISH HARM+940423
      %MANIPULATE EXCOMMUNICATE COERCE VIOLATE SHUN+940423
                      %GOSSIP DISFELLOWSHIP CONTROL 940423

    When  we are involved in relationships with  collusive
addicts  and  their codependent supporters we need to seek
to be clear,  open and honest about such people's explicit
and   implicit,    real  and   threatened---manipulations,
coercions,    violations/violence,    harm,    rejections,
excommunications, disfellowshipping,  dis-honesty, etc.

     To   be  able to avoid criticism  for  disintegrative
threats   and  actions  ---collusive  addicts  and   their
codependent supporters  often use implicit threats, rather
than  explicit threats;   are prone to make such  implicit
threats, rather than inflict  actual  physical  harm;  and
are  prone   to  inflict psychological  harm,  rather than
physical harm.

    When we are involved in relationships  with  collusive
addicts  and  their  codependent  supporters  we  need  to
recognize  that  often the reflexive perceptions which  we
have in the shadows of   such  people's  behaviors (within
communities where few people give/receive the true gift of
security known as the freedom to be safely vulnerable) are
realities  which  are important,  even  if  the  reflexive
perceptions are not  objective realities.   Disintegrative
people   help   to  create  and  maintain  a  climate   of
insecurity---so that they can easily manipulate others  in
ways  so  subtle  and  hidden  that  is  is  difficult  to
demonstrate  what  their role has been in the creation and
maintenance of the climate of insecurity.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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