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           %INDEPENDENCE COLLUSIVE THREAT REJECTION 940114

     True  independence does not involve total  withdrawal
or  detachment  from  people around  us;   but  rather  it
involves     detachment  from  any  threats  which  people
around  us  make    overtly  or covertly to reject us  for
failures to conform    to their manipulative expectations,
demands,    requirements      and  efforts   to   generate
shame/guilt in us.

     True  independence  does not involve ignorance of nor
the ignoring of threats of personal rejection;  but rather
the  transcendence of threats of  rejection so that we are
not imprisoned,   impaired,   debilitated,  paralyzed,  or
fearful of them.

     True  independence does not mean a lack of dependence
upon people around  us;   but rather interdependence  with
them  only  to  the extent that  such  interdependence  is
healthy,   balanced,  open,   honest,   cooperative,   and
integrative.

     True  independence  does  not mean the  avoidance  of
cooperation with people around us;  but rather making sure
that  we  do not become the victims  of addictive people's
efforts  to enlist and enslave  us  as  their  codependent
supporters  in dishonest,   unbalanced  and disintegrative
games of mutual self deception.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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