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%CHILD PARENT ADULT BETTER GENERATION AVOID MISTAKE+931126
%ERROR TRAGEDY FAULT NEGLECT LACK DISASTER CALAMITY+931126
 %CATASTROPHE CATACLYSM GUILT DEFECT OVERSIGHT EVIL 931126

     Each  generation  of  parents  seeks  to  help  their
children enjoy a better life than they had.  They perceive
mistakes   and   errors  made;   disasters,    calamities,
catastrophes,   cataclysms,  guilt,  defects and evils not
avoided; and often believe that they know who was at fault
and whom to blame for what was done, and what was not done
which should have been done.

     Each generation summarizes its life story with  their
own  stories  and myths about what should have been  done,
how  things should have been viewed,  and what should have
been  regarded  as of ultimate importance.    Many  people
during  their  parenting years are trying to  prevent  the
next  generation  from suffering a repeat of the evils  of
their   own  generation.    They  do  not  want  the  next
generation to suffer the same way,  and try to do all they
can to prevent such repeated suffering.

     Often,   the efforts of one generation to prevent the
repeat  of  the  suffering  of  their  own  generation  is
tragically   misguided  by   misunderstandings   regarding
assumptions   made,    convictions  held,   and  ways   of
understanding    human   relationships,    conflicts   and
alienation.

     The  new  generation may repeat the history of  their
parents  because  they  try  in the wrong  ways  to  avoid
repeating   the  history  of  their  parents.     The  new
generation's  efforts  to avoid repeating the  history  of
their parents may be the  same kinds of efforts that their
parents  engaged  in---and  lead  to  the  same  kind   of
suffering  as  that  of the  previous  generation.    Good
intentions are not enough, because good intentions can  be
tragically misguided in old ways.

     Attempts  to  be in control of the future  course  of
events often lead to coercion,  alienative  manipulations,
and   violence  done  to  the  integrity  of  people   and
communities which are not understood or appreciated.  Such
attempts lead to the repeat of past sufferings, not to the
transcendence of the assumptions,  beliefs,   convictions,
and paradigms which generated the past sufferings.

     Helpful efforts are guided by familiarity with and an
understanding  of  the people who are  helped  to  fulfill
their  own kinds of integrity and the integrities of their
own  communities.    Helpful efforts are  not  based  upon
ignorance,  misunderstandings and false assumptions  mixed
in   with   a  lot  of  good  intentions,   energy,    and
determination.

     Helpful   efforts  are  not  designed   to   generate
conformity to  standard and proper:  assumptions, beliefs,
convictions,   perceptions,   thoughts,   desires,  fears,
expressions, procedures, technologies and emotions.

     Helpful   efforts  are  not  dishonest,    deceptive,
repressive, manipulative, technocratic, or violent.

     Helpful  efforts  liberate  and expand  the  menu  of
opportunities  which  are  open for choice;  they  do  not
narrow and constrict possibilities.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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