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   %TRUE LOVE LEAD PEOPLE TOGETHER COOPERATE DESIRE 931117

     True  love  leads  people  to find  new  ways  to  be
together in cooperative ventures which  fulfill their most
integrative desires.  In true love people become aware of,
sensitive to and responsive to  each other's most intimate
and personal desires.   True love is not narrowly  focused
upon   objective  goals,   ideals,    values,    criteria,
relationships, procedures, processes,  accomplishments, or
judgements. True   love   is  meaningfully  interested  in
reflexive realities and relationships.

     True  love cannot be proven to be what it is  through
scientific   procedures,   for  it  cannot  be    properly
subjected to the  objective procedures and analyses  which
are  the preoccupations of scientists.  Thus  quantitative
measurements,   the gathering of quantitative data and the
statistical   analysis   of  such  measurements  are   not
appropriate means to the honest verification of the nature
of what some people claim is true love,   but  which other
people doubt is true love.   When the natures of  intimate
relationships  between  people  are  in  doubt  scientific
procedures  cannot  be used to settle the  doubts  of  the
people  who   question  the  natures   of   the   intimate
relationships.

     True   insights  into  the  nature  of   questionable
relationships are not promoted through preoccupations with
demands for proofs  which will satisfy skeptics, doubters,
and  cynics.     Such demands are more likely  to  promote
personal and communal disintegration than they are  likely
to   promote  true  mutual  understanding,   insights  and
cooperation.     Seeking  insights  into  the  nature   of
questionable  personal relationships is not  an  objective
process, cannot be  carried  out in an objective way,  and
has  reflexive  consequences  whenever  it  is  attempted.
Seeking  such  insights in objective ways is bound  to  be
more disintegrative than integrative.   It is more  honest
and   integrative   to  seek  such  insights   with   full
recognition  and  acknowledgement  that  such  seeking  is
inherently a  reflexive process.   Then it is possible  to
enter  into  the  process  in ways  which  are  inherently
integrative and which may change the truth in the  process
of  seeking  the truth.   Questionable  relationships  may
become  worthy  of  respect in the process of  seeking  to
understand  them and be informed about the nature  of  the
relationships.   There can with integrity be more interest
in   what  the  relationship  becomes  while   trying   to
understand  the relationship and the  participants  within
it,    than  there  is  interest  in  proving   what   the
relationship  was before the details of the  relationships
became known.    The focus can with integrity be more upon
evolving possibilities than upon past realities.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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