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         %COLLUDE DISHONEST PRETEND TRUE SELF OTHER 931005

     Participants  in collusions often generate  confusion
about what is real and what is not real;  what is true and
what is not true.  In their efforts to control appearances
they confuse the differences between reality and dishonest
fantasy.   They  forbid  certain kinds of  honest  fantasy
having to do with  transcending  their  collusive games of
mutual self deception, and then extend the prohibitions to
expressing   any  truths  about  the  actual   lives   and
experiences  of people  who do not respect their collusive
games of mutual self deception.

     Collusive people pretend that it is possible to be in
control  of our experiences,  desires,  fears,   emotions,
perceptions,   insights,   fantasies,   etc.    For  their
dishonest  games of mutual self deception to succeed  they
must  be in control of all aspects of human lives.    Thus
they must generate confusion about the differences between
what  we  can control and what we cannot  control.    They
generate confusion about what it is responsible to try  to
control and what it is disintegrative to try to control.

     Collusive  people cannot feel comfortable with people
who  are  being  true  to themselves  and  others;   being
themselves openly,  honestly and responsively.   In  their
world all appearances must be controlled and no one should
be  free to fantasize possibilities other than those which
are permitted by the paradigm of the colluders;  much less
should anybody really be different than what is  permitted
by  the  paradigm of the colluders.    Life  styles  which
contrast  with  the  life  styles  of  the  colluders  are
forbidden  as being evil and intolerable---which they  are
to the colluders because non-conformist life styles expose
the dishonesty of the colluders.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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