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   %ULTIMATE WANT DESIRE TRUE SECURITY INTIMACY SEX+930904
     %DISHONEST TECHNIQUE MANIPULATION DEFENSE PLAN+930904
  %SYSTEM CONTROL ADDICT CODEPEND SCIENCE KNOWLEDGE 930904

     We   cannot  achieve  through  our  own  efforts  the
fulfillment of our ultimate wants and desires for true:

     security,  intimacy,  sexuality,  community,  meaning

or  other similar ultimate desiderata.    When we  plan  a
systematic  way to use means to achieve such desiderata we
often undermine the integrity of the contexts within which
the   fulfillment   of   such  desiderata   is   possible.
Manipulations designed to  achieve  the desiderata in some
planned   and   systematic  way   include   secretiveness,
deception,  misleading behaviors, dishonesty,  falsehoods,
pretending  that the truth  is not true,  pretending  that
falsehoods are true; so leading us into collusive games of
mutual self deception.

     The  first  step into our collusive games  of  mutual
self  deception  may  be believing  that  we  can  achieve
through  our own efforts the fulfillment of  our  ultimate
wants and desires for true:

     security, intimacy,  sexuality,  community,  meaning

or other similar ultimate desiderata.     Given the  first
step many other such steps follow naturally.

     Defensiveness    and   defenses   are   symptoms   of
insecurity;   not means to security.   True security is  a
received gift, not an achievement.

     True  intimacy  and sexuality are not the  fruits  of
technocratic efforts on the part of individuals to achieve
them as goals.  Rather they are the indirect fruits of the
fulfillment of  commitments made by partners to each other
to  be true to self and others in cooperative  efforts  to
build   an   open   and   honest   personal   relationship
characterized  by:   responsiveness,   balance,   justice,
forgiveness, mercy, charity,  sympathy,   diligence, work,
generosity,  inclusivity,  mutually learning from mistakes
made, etc.

If  we have serious misconceptions regarding the way
to the enjoyment of true:

     security,  intimacy,  sexuality,  community,  meaning

or other similar ultimate desiderata, then we are unlikely
to find any true way to their fulfillment  regardless  of:
how  sophisticated  we  are, how  hard we  try,   how many
resources we squander, and how many people we get to agree
with our misconceptions.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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