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    %PLAN RELATIONSHIP INTIMACY CONTROL EXPECT GOAL 930728

     Often human relationships  are destroyed by assertive
participants  assuming  that  it  makes  sense  and/or  is
appropriate  for  them  to plan the future course  of  the
relationships.    Such participants assume in some way  or
another  that it is appropriate for them to be in control,
and  that other(s)  should follow and accept them as being
in control.

     Relationships   are  cooperative  affairs  which  are
inherently reflexive,  not objective.   People who  assume
that  it appropriate for them to be in control assume that
it  is appropriate for them to treat whatever they wish to
control  as if it were only an object which will naturally
yield  to external control.  When we try to control people
we invite  dishonesty   and  so  we  invite  personal  and
communal disintegration.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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