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%AVOID ALL RISK CONTROL COST PRUDENT FOOLISH DECIDE 930621

     We  often  seek to minimize risks  to  ourselves  and
those who are nearest and dearest to us;  ideally  seeking
to reduce risk to zero.  We often seek to be in control of
our risk taking.

     If we seek to avoid all risks by being in control  of
all the risks we take we inevitably are led into decisions
and  actions which rob our lives of  meaningful  intimacy,
relationships  and  dialogue.   All  meaningful  dialogue,
relationships   and  intimacy  entail  significant  risks.
Trying  to eliminate all risks to the zero  level  entails
eliminating  all dialogue,  relationships and intimacy  to
zero.

     If  Jack  is  trying to eliminate all  risks  in  his
dialogue  with Jill then Jill is bound to be suspicious of
Jack  and the relationships between Jack and Jill is bound
to  become  less intimate than if Jack is willing to  take
meaningful risks in relating to Jill intimately.

     When we are defensive in our approaches to each other
we  elicit  from  each  other  defensive  responses  which
undermine  our  security,   dialogue,   relationships  and
possibilities of meaningful intimacy.

     It does not pay to try to be fully in control of  all
the  risks which we take.   Trying to reduce our risks  to
zero  is  in  the final analysis a  very  risky  business,
because  it  leads  us into  escalating  arms  races  with
increasing tendencies towards violence!

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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