This is http://www.essayz.com/a9305102.htm         
Previous-Essay      <== This-Essay ==>     Following-Essay
Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words.
{Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.}
==========================================================
 %IMPOSSIBLE COPE WISELY DENIED UNREALITY DISHONEST+930510
    %SEX SHAME GUILT CONTROL MANAGE DISCIPLINE RULE 930510

     It is virtually impossible for us to cope wisely with
any  reality which our  communities and we  deny is  real,
possible,   experienced,  desired,  enjoyed,   envisioned,
fantasized, or otherwise important to us. When through our
collusions we approach our coping with any reality in such
a  dishonest way,  we then cannot cope wisely with such  a
taboo reality.

     Dishonesty  is  not  a solid  foundation  for  coping
wisely with any reality of any kind. This is especially so
for systemic dishonesty in  the form of communal collusive
games of  mutual  self deception. When society becomes  an
addict,    and   addictive  organizations   dominate   our
communities,  we are  unable  to cope with taboo realities
which are repressed,  obscured,  denied, hidden, confused,
and otherwise made to appear other than they really are.

     There are many taboo realities:

     1.  Parental  flaws,  weaknesses,  and imperfections;
e.g.,    alcoholism,   drug  addiction,   sex   addiction,
workaholism, perfectionism, violent abuse,  passive abuse,
neglect, frozen emotions, etc.

     2.  Flaws,  weaknesses,  and imperfections within our
religious  leaders and institutions;  e.g.,  as  suggested
above.

     3.  Flaws,  weaknesses,  and imperfections within our
educational,    political,   and  business   leaders   and
institutions; e.g., as suggested above.

     4.  Mistakes,   errors,  tragedies,  and  limitations
which our collusions,  addictions, and codependents do not
permit us to acknowledge and learn from.

     5.  Doubts,   anxieties  and  fears  about  religious
teachings,   scriptures and doctrines which our  religious
leaders do not set us free to talk about and listen to.

     6.  Sexual desires,  needs,  fantasies,  experiences,
visions,  relationships and inhibitions which our parents,
friends,   lovers,   teachers,   religious  leaders,   and
political leaders  encourage  us  to  keep  hidden,    out
of  view,  repressed,  denied,  and otherwise subjected to
the silent treatment.

     7.  Hopes, aspirations and acts of faith which we are
encouraged  to give the silent treatment because they  are
improper,  impossible,   imprudent,   not called  for,  or
indecent.

     8.  Aspects of our unique selves which are not called
for,  required,  prescribed,  or provided for---and so are
regarded as not permitted, improper, forbidden, taboo, and
to  be hidden from self and others.  Such aspects  include
visions, fantasies, emotions, desires, experiences, hopes,
aspirations, etc.

     9.  Insights   and  creative  visions   which   would
threaten the dominant  paradigm  and associated collusions
if revealed.

     10.  Others   which  may  be  unique  to   particular
individuals.

     We  cannot enjoy personal and communal  integrity  so
long as we cannot be honest for reasons pointed to above.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
==========================================================