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  %POWER CONTROL INITIATE MANAGE DESIRE COERCE RAPE 930506

     Balance  is  essential  to  healthy   intimate/sexual
relationships,    with  respect  to:   desire,   interest,
initiations,  power,  control,  responsiveness,  prudence,
guidance,  leadership, planning, etc. There are many forms
of imbalance which can undermine the health of an intimate
and/or sexual relationship.

     If  advances  of a sexual nature are imposed  by  one
person  upon  another  person in  the  absence  of  freely
offered and balanced  signals of adult  interest in sexual
reciprocity,   then  the action is rape.  Such an  imposed
"sexual" relationship is unbalanced and illegal.

     If  in an intimate relationship advances of a  sexual
nature are always initiated by one person, but very rarely
if  ever  by the other person;  then the  relationship  is
unbalanced and not likely to be as fulfilling  as it might
be.

     If  in an intimate relationship advances of a  sexual
nature  are  initiated by one person and the responses  of
the other are usually ambivalent; then the relationship is
unbalanced, and not likely to be as fulfilling as it might
be.

     If  one partner is always the more prudent,  cautious
and  calculating  in  approaching  the  possibilities   of
letting go sexually;  then the relationship is unbalanced,
and not likely to be as fulfilling as it might be.

     If the expectations of partners in an intimate and/or
sexual relationship are that there will be an imbalance in
desire,    interest,    initiations,    power,    control,
responsiveness,  prudence, guidance, leadership, planning,
etc;   then by virtue of the agreement that there will  be
imbalance there is an imbalance:  and the relationship  is
not likely to be as fulfilling as it might be.

     Sex stereotyping leads to unbalanced relationships.

     Mandatory differentiations between sexual roles leads
to  unbalanced   relationships,  and  to   the   increased
likelihood  of  rape  occurring;   and  to  the  decreased
likelihood of  there  being  integrative  intimate  and/or
sexual relationships.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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