This is http://www.essayz.com/a9304148.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PROFESSION STANDARD CONSENSUS INSIGHT LIMIT+930414 %COMMITMENT LOYALTY TEAM FRIEND COLLUSION ADDICT+930414 %ESSENCE TRUE INTIMACY HEALTH INTEGRITY LEGAL RULE 930414 Some people aspire to the good regulation and/or control of intimate relationships through the articulation and enforcement of good ideals which they believe describe healthy intimate relationships, in contrast to what they believe to be un-healthy intimate relationships. They often try to be in control of intimacy. It is not possible to helpfully regulate and/or control healthy intimacy, because healthy intimacy cannot be accurately and adequately characterized by objective statements. Healthy intimacy is reflexive in character, not objective in character. Objective statements cannot capture and adequately characterize the essence of healthy intimacy, because the people who formulate the objective statements must be detached from the intimate relationships to formulate truly objective statements about the intimate relationships. They must be reflexively ignorant of the details of the relationships. Healthy intimate relationships do not fall within the range of truly accurate and adequate objective descriptions. In an effort to make truly objective statements about healthy intimate relationships there will inevitably be a misrepresentation of the nature of the non-objective relationships which are essentially reflexive in character. In light of the above it is impossible to generate prescriptions for truly healthy intimate relationships; i.e., prescriptions which could be used in an integrative way to assure that people who are suspected of engaging in unhealthy intimacy are properly encouraged to conform to the prescription; or face appropriate punishment. Such "encouragement" is bound to be experienced as coercive, violent, un-welcomed, alienative, and disintegrative. Objective manipulations of intimate relationships do not lead to the improvement of the quality of the intimate relationships, no matter what may be the character of the questioned intimate relationships. We may, however, helpfully describe the nature of un- healthy intimate relationships and the nature of healthy intimate relationships so as to inform people who want to know the difference. The difference has to do with the degree to which realities pointed to by the following words are present and/or absent in the daily life of the relationship: HONESTY BALANCE GENTLENESS SECURITY VULNERABILITY TRUST JUSTICE OPENNESS MUTUALITY TRUTH PRAYER MEDITATION RELAXATION GROWTH ACCEPTANCE VARIETY SPONTANEITY TOLERANCE RESPECT ADMIRATION FORGIVENESS FLEXIBILITY FREEDOM LIBERATION RELIABILITY RESPONSIVENESS RESPONSIBILITY (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================