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    %REJECT ACCEPT LOVE DIALOGUE CONVERSE TALK OPEN 930305

     Healthy human relationships are graciously reflexive,
balanced,   mutually  accepting,   open,   honest,    non-
manipulative, liberating, and non-violent.

     Unhealthy   human   relationships  are   judgmentally
condemnatory, unbalanced,  mutually rejective,  secretive,
collusive, manipulative, coercive and violent.

     When  one person or community makes the judgment that
the other person is inferior,  evil,  worthy of  rejection
and condemnation,  not worthy of balanced dialogue, and to
be  treated as an object of manipulation;   that  judgment
marks the beginning of an unhealthy human relationship.

     When  one person or community perceives that  another
is similar,   worthy  of  acceptance  into   dialogue  and
potentially a participant in  healthy human relationships;
that perception marks the beginning of the possibility  of
healthy human relationships.

     Healthy human relationships are graciously reflexive;
each step in the  development of the relationships reflect
graciously upon the past history of the relationships  and
echoes  graciously  into  the future in the lives  of  the
participants in  the relationships.  Grace  is  inclusive,
loving, forgiving, balanced, realistic, open, integrative,
and proactive in promoting healthy honest relationships.

     Unhealthy   human  relationships   are   judgmentally
reflexive   in   condemnatory  ways;   each  step  in  the
development of the  relationships often triggering  tragic
reactions, negative judgements, condemnations, rejections,
alienations,     excommunications,     disfellowshippings,
misunderstandings,  ignorance,  manipulations,  coercions,
and violence.

     We  will  do well to be alert to the  patterns  which
distinguish  healthy  human relationships  from  unhealthy
ones;   so that we may recognize  unhealthy  relationships
which are being honored, respected, and encouraged.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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