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  %RIDICULE DECEPTION MANIPULATION CONTROL PRETENSE 930221

     Any system of ideals and values which does not openly
and honestly deal with people's  experiences  of: threats,
alienation,   excommunication,    punishment,    violence,
ridicule, deception, manipulations, control, and  pretense
--- is a  system  of  ideals and values   which  fails  to
promote  both   personal  and  communal   integrity.    To
promote   both  personal   and   communal   integrity   we
must   openly   and honestly deal with  such  experiences;
giving  free  gifts  of  true  security,   providing  safe
contexts   within  which  honest  dialogue   about    such
experiences  occurs  regularly  and without  honest people
being   threatened  with    alienation,   excommunication,
punishment,       violence,        ridicule,    deception,
manipulations, control and pretense.

     When  people  do  not  talk  about  their  most  real
personal experiences, there exist inhibiting factors which
contribute   to  personal  and   communal  disintegration.
Communication is essential to  being fully human.  When we
are not  free  to communicate honestly, freely, and openly
about  our  most real personal experiences;  we cannot  be
fully human and so need to work to change our contexts  to
liberate  ourselves  and  others  from  our  communication
constraints.

     We  cannot  liberate  ourselves and others  from  our
communication constraints without taking some risks;   but
it is not helpful to imprudently do risky things.  We need
to understand the  nature of our communication constraints
and   the   consequences  of  trying  to   transcend   our
communication constraints in various ways;  else we cannot
with   prudence   find  honest  ways  to   transcend   our
communication  constraints.  When we do understand we need
to be willing to take prudent risks  and  make  reasonable
sacrifices  in  the  interest  of  personal  and  communal
integrity;  else we will all disintegrate  because we  are
unwilling  to  take  prudent  risks  and  make  reasonable
sacrifices.   We  thus need to understand  what  our  true
alternatives  are,  for if we do not understand,  then  in
timidity  we  may do the most risky thing,  in  trying  to
avoid all risks and all sacrifice.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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