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 %CONFLICT VIOLENT TENSE PARADIGM COOPERATE COMPETE 930128

     There  are paradigms which encourage those people who
embody  the  paradigm to be in conflict  with  each  other
about  their  differences---while  all believing  in  many
common  elements of their joint paradigms.  Such paradigms
engender a great deal of conflict and violence within  the
people who embody the paradigms. The personal incarnations
of   the   paradigm  are  typically   tense,    defensive,
competitive and unwilling to cooperate with people who are
significantly different from them. Their paradigm does not
provide  them  context within which to  resolve  conflicts
over differences,  or to  cooperate  with  people  who are
complementary kinds of people.

     It  is  important  that we  learn  to  recognize  the
elements  of  paradigms which encourage those  people  who
embody  the  paradigm to be in conflict  with  each  other
about their differences. Those elements include:

     1.  Preoccupation with issues of control:   who is to
be in control,  to whose advantage,  in what manner,   for
what purpose, by what means, etc?

     2.  Greater emphasis upon rules,  regulations,  laws,
taboos, judgments, guilt,  shame, etc.;  than upon mutual
understanding,     dialogue,    listening,    forgiveness,
cooperation, sympathy, etc.

     3.  Preoccupations  with  perfection,   imperfection,
failures, mistakes, egos, appearances, success, etc.

     4.  Focusing upon achievements,  work,  measurements,
manipulations,  goals, winning,  losing;  rather than upon
balanced personal and communal integrity.

     5.  Emphasis  upon  definitions  of what  is  proper,
right, respectable, required,  expected;  rather than upon
personal experiences,  learning,  sharing,  and getting to
honestly know each other through conversations,  dialogue,
listening,   giving,   receiving,   offering,   accepting,
affection, etc.

     6.  More concern with traditions and conformity, than
with creativity and growth.

     7.  Preoccupations   with   objects  and  people   as
entities that are expected to fit into well defined roles;
rather than  focusing  upon  evolving  authentic  personal
relationships which both create and are created by persons
of integrity.

     For there to be peace in the world and in our  hearts
we  need to recognize which kinds of paradigms need to  be
operative  in  our  daily  lives  in  order  to  lay   the
foundations  for peace in our hearts and attitudes  toward
each other.
                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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