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    %PEACE WAR VIOLENCE MANIPULATE HEALTH COMMUNITY 930121

     Our  security  depends in  essential  ways  upon  our
taking time out from other important duties and activities
to envision,  to dream, and to picture for each other what
we  anticipate would be helpful contexts within  which  to
give and accept gifts of security.

     Gifts  of  security are given and accepted in  giving
and  accepting personal acceptance which is  not  tied  to
conformity,    perfection,    compliance,   obedience,  or
competition. In contrast, gifts  of security  are withheld
and/or rejected when we are offered,  offer to each other,
and/or accept from each other "personal"  acceptance which
is tied to conformity,  compliance, obedience,  winning in
competitions and/or concerns over perfection/control. When
we  are  trying  to manipulate each  other  or  are  being
manipulated  by  others---we  are  not  secure;   we   are
defensive.

     To  be healthy people in healthy communities we  need
to  have offered to us,  to offer to each other,   and  to
accept  from each other---timely gifts of security  within
all  the  various  contexts which  are  essential  to  our
personal  and communal integrity.  If we are rejected  and
not offered gifts of security within  some contexts  which
are  essential to our personal and communal integrity;  we
will then find it exceedingly difficult to be comfortable,
secure and at peace within those contexts---and so will be
uncomfortable,   embarrassed,   defensive and  maybe  even
violently defensive within such deprived contexts.

     Understanding  these  considerations is essential  to
learning to live in peace with each other.

                                                                                                                               
                         (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in      
                    (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)  
                                                                                                                               
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